Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Since the advent of computer games, youngsters have found an alternative to traditional means of play

such

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apply

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playing outside. Some people believe that playing outside is more beneficial to a child's development.

While

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playing on consoles can bring temporary enjoyment, I strongly agree that outdoor activities are more beneficial to a young one's growth.

This

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essay will discuss why the positives of outdoor activities far outweigh gaming. Playing outside enhances children's physical health and social skills which are necessary for their growth.

For example

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, playing sports or engaging in playground activities helps children develop motor skills, coordination and

overall

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fitness.

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, outdoor play encourages teamwork, communication and social interaction, which are crucial for developing interpersonal skills and building friendships.

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, playing outside and interacting with pupils is vital for the youth's development On the other, video games have a negative effect on kids' mental and physical health.

For instance

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, juveniles who play them have a higher chance of developing a sedentary lifestyle which can lead to obesity and health problems.

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, they inhibit contact with people in the real world which leads to social awkwardness and difficulty in forming relationships.

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, spending time hooked to devices and playing has a widely negative impact on the youth's growth. In conclusion,

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gaming can be a getaway for many young ones to have fun in alternative ways,

they

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can have many undesirable outcomes on the normal evolution of a toddler. It is agreed that having real-world experiences is more beneficial to the normal advancement of the youth.

James Tue May 21 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Strengthen the introduction with a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed.

logical structure

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to make transitions smoother between ideas and paragraphs.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate more specific examples or case studies to reinforce your points and make your arguments more compelling.

supported main points

You have effectively highlighted the main advantages of outdoor activities for children's development.

logical structure

The essay follows a logical structure with a clear progression of ideas.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your stance on the issue.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

benefit
development
physical
promote
foster
social skills
teamwork
cognitive skills
problem-solving
abilities
well-being
hinder
isolation
interpersonal skills
sedentary
exposure
negatively affect
academic performance

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