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In many countries art galleries visitors have been declining steadily. What are the possible reasons? How to change this trend?

#countries #art #galleries #visitors #change #trend
In many
countries
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countries,
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art
galleries
Change the noun form
gallery
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 visitors have been declining steadily. What are the possible reasons? How to change
this
 trend? In today’s modern world, it is obvious that there are several
art
galleries
 around the world.
However
, it seems that the number of
art
 visitors appears to be decreasing day by day. There are a couple of reasons behind
this
 issue some of which are
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example,
generally
Add a comma
generally,
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people
 might not have enough time
for visiting
Change preposition
to visit
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 the
galleries
 and the second is the high cost of
entries
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entry
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. We can consider two appropriate ways to solve
this
 problem allocating a lot more money to
artists
 and offering them free admission. First of all, many
people
 are of the opinion that they have to work for many hours in order to meet their needs. It is a well-known fact that working
people
 are likely to be tired at
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 end of the workday and
even
Rephrase
apply
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they probably opt to stay at home and spend their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 with families on the weekends.
On the other hand
,
ıf
Correct your spelling
if
 they decide to visit any
art
galleries
, they encounter
with
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apply
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the inconvenient price of tickets to enter these places.
Secondly
, governments should take some serious steps to attract public
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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 in the arts.
Moreover
, it
make
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makes
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 sense to give more money to
artists
 so as to improve their abilities. As the number of skilled
artists
 increases, the quality of
art
 increases as well. Another feasible way to persuade individuals to visit the
galleries
 is that the government should reduce the entrance fee for everybody.
To conclude
,
people
 do not have enough time to visit exhibitions and they have to pay for them.
Additionally
, the
artists
 should be funded by the government and tickets should be free to all.
Submitted by Muzeyyen on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion lack depth and specific elements. Ensure to clearly state the main points and arguments in the introduction and provide a concise summary in the conclusion.
task achievement
The response is not fully developed, and relevant examples are lacking. Ensure to address all aspects of the question with specific, detailed, and relevant ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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