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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #businesses #people #closure #business #death #communities
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Globalisation brings many great changes to our daily life. Even for grocery shopping, there are more chained supermarkets in many countries. There has been a great controversy on whether the local
business
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 would be killed since they are less competitive than expanded supermarkets and bring about death to local
communities
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. To me. I do not agree that closing up local
firms
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 means the death of local
communities
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 as competition allows them to grow stronger
instead
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. Among all the reasons, probably the most significant one is that those strong competitors encourage the switch of a
business
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 model of local
business
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 to make a greater profit and resist to obstacles
such
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 as great labour costs and increased rental expenses.
For example
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, local brands
such
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 as Lao Gan Ma is one of the successful
business
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 in which the owners had induced factory-based production and sell them in chain-stores to sustain their profit. The great competition from other chained brands did not hinder their development but
instead
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, forced them to turn into an organised
business
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 model. The local community has been rescued as more job opportunities are provided. Never should we overlook the fact that the closure of local
firms
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 might due to reasons like poor product quality and untrustworthy production procedures. These include customer trusts and product safety consideration. The overall quality could be improved if only those who pass standard survive. Because of expanded supermarkets, local qualified tea is able to be exported to greater
firms
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 is one of the striking examples. Tea
business
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 is often village-based, and that means jobs are guaranteed within local
communities
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 and
hence
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 they can be preserved. To conclude, the rise of great competitors does not necessarily mean the end of local
communities
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. Yet, it helps small
firms
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 to be determined to become competitive and allows local
communities
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 to survive when jobs are available for them to make a living.
Submitted by sue.0504.yuenling on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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