These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than sports. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a majority of
kids
would love to occupy
time
on digital
games
instead
of doing some active activities.
This
essay will discuss the
reasons
for it and whether it is a positive or
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
negative development. There are a number of
reasons
why children choose their
time
to play
computer
games
that replaces the
time
for doing some sports. The most obvious reason is that
computer
games
are very engaging, as there are different levels for it so it makes
kids
want to play more and reach their goals.
Moreover
, they love having a sedentary lifestyle, which is inactive, so that they do not need to spend that much
time
on
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
wasting physical energy. The other reason for it is
also
that they do not have the motivation to do sport,
this
can either lead to that they have not been inspired by anyone
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they have a lack of incentive. I totally agree that
this
is a negative development. As I mentioned before about the sedentary lifestyle,
this
can highly affect children’s posture.
Also
, it can sometimes cause obesity, which affects children’s health.
In addition
, spending an excessive amount of
time
on
computer
games
is bad for
kids
’ eyes, and most of them have to wear glasses at a young age.
Lastly
, not occupying lots of
time
on
computer
games
can cause
kids
to lose communication skills, as they just stare at the screen for a long period of
time
. If they go out and do some sports, they can probably communicate with friends when doing sport as a team, which is a better option. In conclusion, these are the
reasons
why children would like to occupy
time
on
computer
games
instead
of doing some sports. I
also
strongly agree that it is a negative development for the
kids
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because there are so many
reasons
why it can be the opposite of negative, as
this
mostly affects their health and interaction at a young age.
Submitted by just a random post on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: