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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than sports. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development
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Nowadays, a majority of
kids
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 would love to occupy
time
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 on digital
games
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instead
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 of doing some active activities.
This
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 essay will discuss the
reasons
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 for it and whether it is a positive or
a
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negative development. There are a number of
reasons
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 why children choose their
time
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 to play
computer
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games
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 that replaces the
time
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 for doing some sports. The most obvious reason is that
computer
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games
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 are very engaging, as there are different levels for it so it makes
kids
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 want to play more and reach their goals.
Moreover
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, they love having a sedentary lifestyle, which is inactive, so that they do not need to spend that much
time
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on
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wasting physical energy. The other reason for it is
also
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 that they do not have the motivation to do sport,
this
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 can either lead to that they have not been inspired by anyone
,
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 so that they have a lack of incentive. I totally agree that
this
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 is a negative development. As I mentioned before about the sedentary lifestyle,
this
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 can highly affect children’s posture.
Also
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, it can sometimes cause obesity, which affects children’s health.
In addition
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, spending an excessive amount of
time
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 on
computer
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games
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 is bad for
kids
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’ eyes, and most of them have to wear glasses at a young age.
Lastly
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, not occupying lots of
time
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 on
computer
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games
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 can cause
kids
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 to lose communication skills, as they just stare at the screen for a long period of
time
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. If they go out and do some sports, they can probably communicate with friends when doing sport as a team, which is a better option. In conclusion, these are the
reasons
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 why children would like to occupy
time
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 on
computer
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games
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instead
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 of doing some sports. I
also
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 strongly agree that it is a negative development for the
kids
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,
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 because there are so many
reasons
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 why it can be the opposite of negative, as
this
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 mostly affects their health and interaction at a young age.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
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