Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

#prison #countries #crime #people #education

It is argued that

prisonment

Correct your spelling

imprisonment

for those

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

crime is regarded as the best way;

however

awaring

Correct your spelling

awarding

those with better education is the best remedy.I totally disagree with the above statement and think that focus should be given on education.

Firstly

,keeping one in the cage is not proper wat of solution. Criminal

are

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show examples

also

human,so,staying in

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the

show examples

same bounded place will certainly make anyone feel bore which may result

Add the preposition

from

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

to suffer from depression and other mental problem too.

For instance

,there are many cases related to mental problems in

those person

Change the determiner

that person

those people

show examples

who are recently been released from police custody.

Therefore

,criminals life

wil

Correct your spelling

will

become

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apply

show examples

darker when they are sent back to their home.

Secondly

,exposing ordinary person in the jail for small issues will result

Add the preposition

from

show examples

those to come in contact with bad companies as there is

nno

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separation of

Add an article

the

show examples

age on the

naturre

Correct your spelling

nature

of their crime.At the same time ,

Add an article

the

show examples

ood one will

also

be affected and learn those

activity

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acts

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performed by

other

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others

show examples

.One of my

friend

Change to a plural noun

friends

show examples

was caught by

Add an article

the

show examples

olice for the case of theft and was kept for a week.After returning from prison he started using drugs. So,

such

activity

are

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show examples

becoming

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ndirect medium to higher the crime rates. In

conclusin

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conclusion

,people will behave

voilently

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violently

and

also

get affected by

Add an article

the

show examples

ad company after putting them in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

jail.

Submitted by namunakarki23 on Fri Jan 15 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

tackles root causes
preventative approach
critical thinking
decision-making skills
recidivism rates
equipping
socio-economic benefits
underlying factors
poverty
ignorance
lack of opportunities
rehabilitation
ineffective
higher rates of re-offending

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Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

One of your friends is planning to visit your country and asking you for some information. Write a letter to him/her and say: o when the best time to visit your country is o suggest a plan for the travel o recommend places to visit in your country

Nowadays people like to use new electronic equipment. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Today people do less exercise. Some people believe that conducting sporting events such as the Olympics or World Cup encourage people to live healthy while others indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school, Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages.

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?