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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many parents today do not spend much time with their children. Why is this? Does this affect parents or children more?

#parents #time #children #affect
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Spending quality time with the offspring is going to be one of the most challenging
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
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 for most of the
parents
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, these days. In my opinion, the financial burden on
parents
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 in order to provide high standards of living to their beloved
children
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 is the main reason.
This
Linking Words
 would obviously lead to a negative impact on their
children
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. Nowadays, every couple feels compulsory to earn individually to meet all the basic requisites of their budding
children
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. As the inflation rates have skyrocketed,
thus
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, they have to work harder to fulfil the necessities.
For example
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, essential commodities like food, clothing and houses have become costlier. In order to allocate all the amenities to their
children
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,
parents
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 are forced to work and stay away from the offspring due to which, they fail to spend enough time with their
children
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.
This
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 change has certainly detrimental effects on their
children
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.
Children
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 feel secure in the presence of their
parents
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. Now, they remain devoid of parent's love and attention that they need the most, which creates a crucial effect on their physical and mental health. They find themselves abandoned at home and later on, turn into
i
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an
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ntrovert. Improper diet and loneliness
affects
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affect
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 them physically and mentally too.
Children
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,
furthermore
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, lack confidence, loose friendly relationship
Verify preposition usage
with
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their
parents
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 and, sometimes, indulge
into
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in
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 bad habits under peer pressure.
This
Linking Words
 shows a disturbing influence on the
parents
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also
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. They feel guilty for leaving their
children
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 behind and not upbringing them properly.
However
Linking Words
, they find solace in the excuse that they are working for the welfare of their
children
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. In conclusion,
parents
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 are busy enough for their
children
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's better future making them unable to spend reasonable time with their
children
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. In my opine,
children
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 are worst affected since they need their
parents
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 the most at
this
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 stage.
Submitted by sahil.bansal45 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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