Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (14GT-3; 18/01/21;V-6)

It is true that everyone wants to lead a happy
life
. There are
people
who say more
money
is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
effective way to have a happy
life
. It
an
Add a missing verb
is an
show examples
undeniable fact that having more
money
will make
people
happy
also
other factors will give immense pleasure to
people
. Having more
money
will allow
people
to enjoy all their wishes.
For example
, few
people
would like to take a long vacation to exotic places
this
will not be possible if they do not have sufficient
money
.
Moreover
,
people
who are earning more
money
will buy the things
as
Correct word choice
that
show examples
per
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
desires
Correct subject-verb agreement
desire
show examples
. Most importantly, many
people
have a lifetime wish to own a luxury car by having more
money
people
can make all their dreams into reality.
On the contrary
,
money
is not the only source that makes
people
happy there are other things like spending
time
with family, helping
others
also
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
immense joy to
people
.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, if, we have more
money
but
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are not spending quality
time
with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family
member's
Change noun form
member
show examples
then
what's the use of earning more
money
.
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?
show examples
For instance
, a survey by Amnesty International revealed that middle classes are leading happier
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
rich
people
,
this
is because middle-class
people
are spending more
time
with their children and family members.
This
would not be possible for many busy
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
. Another reason that makes
people
happy is helping
others
. A good example of
this
is Mother Teresa until, their entire
life
she leads a happy
life
by helping
others
.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,
show examples
people
, who help their surroundings will have
Add an article
a
show examples
happy and successful
life
. To summarise,
while
people
may vary with their opinions
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
other factors like helping
others
and spending
time
with family members
also
make
people
happy. Happiness is not only restricted to
money
.
Submitted by Saravanan RS on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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