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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, as women and men have to work full-time household duties should be equally divided. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#women #men #work #household #duties
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, both men and women contribute their full time
for
Change preposition
to
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work
Use synonyms
 for the betterment of the family. Some people opine that they should divide their
household
Use synonyms
 activities equally. I am in consummate accord with
this
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 not and I
also
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 believe that there are some better ways to deal with housework rather than dividing
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 equally. Apparently, there are some advantages to dividing
household
Use synonyms
 activities
at
Change preposition
On
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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top of
that
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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it
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 mutual understanding between couples. To be precise, if labour is equally divided between them, it will tend to reduce their workload. To epitome, if all
household
Use synonyms
 responsibility is put on one person, it will increase the level of their stress and anxiety.
Likewise
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, equal division of domestic
work
Use synonyms
 could help to develop mutual bonding between partners and there will be fewer chances of the occurrence any of consequences and arguments between them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are some other better ways to handle
household
Use synonyms
 duties
instead
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 of trying to divide
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 equally.
Firstly
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, it is quite difficult for both genders to divide their
work
Use synonyms
 as they
work
Use synonyms
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
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.
That is
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 why many families hire housemaids to get relief from their domestic
work
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.
This
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 will not only help reduce their
work
Use synonyms
 but
also
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 tend to increase their bonds as they would spend their time with children.
Secondly
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, parents ask their children to be responsible for
household
Use synonyms
 duties.
For instance
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, if children
will
Verb problem
apply
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understand their responsibilities at
young
Add an article
a young
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 age, they will not
faced
Change the verb form
face
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 any
complication
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complications
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 in future.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 domestic
chore
Fix the agreement mistake
chores
show examples
 should be shared evenly between men and women, they could seek help from other people as their counterparts have equal responsibility toward their house.
Submitted by Gagan Bhamra on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • shared responsibility
  • harmonious living arrangements
  • traditional gender roles
  • modern values
  • domestic chores
  • relationship satisfaction
  • positive example
  • household duties
  • full-time workforce
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