IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, most of the hospitals are
multi speciality
Add a hyphen
multi-speciality
show examples
 hospital which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
atmost
Correct your spelling
utmost
almost
 care and services with the help of technology. It is irrefutable that due to the advancement of technology in
m
Add an article
the
show examples
edical sector, every nation has to care numerous aged
people
Use synonyms
. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss the reasons and
solutons
Correct your spelling
solutions
 for the given notion. The majority of aged
people
Use synonyms
 are either
bed ridden
Correct your spelling
bedridden
show examples
 or on
Add an article
a
the
show examples
wheel chair
Correct your spelling
wheelchair
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are
people
Use synonyms
 who can do day to day activities themself, most of them have long term illness.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are managed by their children or any nursing staff. Apparently, there are nursing homes and old age homes focused on
such
Linking Words
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 in some
cties
Correct your spelling
cities
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India
people
Use synonyms
 are afraid to send their aged parents to
such
Linking Words
 places thinking what the society will say but it is always better to leave them there and be in contact with them regularly. In my opinion, society must be capable of managing
such
Linking Words
 situations by constructing more nursing homes, improving the facilities of current old age centres and
also
Linking Words
 with the help of the government. To summarise,
r
Add an article
the
show examples
apid pace of technology in
h
Add an article
the
show examples
ealthcare industry has resulted in the increase of life span for the majority of humans on earth. Unfortunately , society finds it difficult to manage
people
Use synonyms
 with severe illness,
disablitilities
Correct your spelling
disabilities
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is better to have suitable places for
people
Use synonyms
 with same kind disorders.
Submitted by pooch6161 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: