Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

There is no doubt that celebrities earn enormous salaries. Some
people
believe that these amounts are really worth for the jobs they do
however
some
people
deny
this
. I agree with the former group of
people
.
Firstly
, celebrities have a very difficult task to do.
This
is because their job is to perform actions as if it is real.
For example
, many well-known actors like Tom Cruise and Wills Smith who perform on movies have good acting and most of the amateur actors do not perform
such
task easily.
Also
, they sometimes have to do impossible tasks
such
as jumping off from a cliff or from a running boat.
Such
things are not even possible for experienced professionals.
Secondly
, they entertain globally and not just limited to their countries.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if any new movie or new album releases it is available almost every corner of the world and even with language barriers
people
get entertained because of
d
Add an article
the
show examples
ubbing of these films.
Hence
, the actors and stars should be paid handsomely to keep them motivated for high performance.
Moreover
, celebrities are not the only one who really enjoys the cream of ice-cream. There are many other professions
such
as underwater drivers, financial portfolio manager and Chief Executive Officers who really worth every penny for the salary they receive. As these professions need highly skilled specialization and a small error made by them may result in financial/ physical loss to the company or society. For an instance,
f
Add an article
the
show examples
inancial manager’s main objective is to grow wealth. If the company hire
u
Add an article
an
show examples
n-experienced employee to save money on salary will leads to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial loss which will be more and highly un-repairable.
Submitted by barun.manish on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: