Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being benefical, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #access #exchange #information #danger #societies

Modern Technology is most of the important

breakthrough

Fix the agreement mistake

breakthroughs

show examples

that has been brought to humanity, it is true that these days

people

can share their information with each other

with

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high speed

with

Change preposition

without

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any restriction.

While

this

trend is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that its disadvantages are more significant

such

as it leads to critical health problems,

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

unemployment, the distraction of

people

's work or study and so on.

To begin

with, there are several negative impacts of technology on individuals, it contributes to

people

's bad health. To elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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, when any person uses modern gadgets excessively, they

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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live

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

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lifestyle which affects

people

's posture and obesity

problem

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problems

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created

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Moreover

, there are many types of radiation emitted by the gadgets which cause skin cancer, brain cancer and especially weak eyesight

due to

the blue light.

For example

, an article published by "The

Newyork

Correct your spelling

New York

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Time" newspaper showed that 60% population of America are struggling with harmful diseases by the overuse of smartphones.

In addition

, the technical approach distracts a person 's concentration, they do not focus on their studies

as well as

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

. Moving

further

, these days in all working fields do their task through the technical things,

this

trend creates unemployment in the persons. To

explanation

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explain

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, if all the job is done by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

machines or other electric things,

consequently

, the masses become jobless and they can not live a healthier life.

For instance

, a newspaper in Vietnam revealed that there are over one million

people

suffering from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of job opportunities because manual labour is being replaced with technology.

Furthermore

, computerized tools have been isolating

people

, they are always irritated and they can not talk to anyone properly.

To conclude

although

there are many benefits from

this

phenomenon, there are more negative sides which are greatly

effected

Verb problem

affect

show examples

human

beings

Change noun form

beings'

being's

show examples

lives, it

resulted

Wrong verb form

results

show examples

much

Fix the agreement mistake

many

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harmful health problems,

individuals

Correct word choice

and individuals

show examples

become unfocused from their studies or work.

Submitted by Khush Guraya on Thu Jan 21 2021

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clear development of ideas. The examples used are somewhat relevant but need to be further elaborated and connected to the main points.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. There is a need for better structuring of ideas and explicit signposting of arguments throughout the essay.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being benefical, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In today's very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed.among the skills do you think is more important, social skills or good qualification?

Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivatethe youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion.

some people believe that it is good to shere as much information as possible in scintific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace in the future. Others think the true function of a university is to provide access to knowledge for its own sake. What do you think are the main functions of a university?