Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being benefical, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Modern Technology is most of the important

breakthrough

Fix the agreement mistake

breakthroughs

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that has been brought to humanity, it is true that these days

people

Use synonyms

can share their information with each other

with

Change preposition

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high speed

with

Change preposition

without

show examples

any restriction.

While

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that its disadvantages are more significant

such

Linking Words

as it leads to critical health problems,

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

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unemployment, the distraction of

people

Use synonyms

's work or study and so on.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are several negative impacts of technology on individuals, it contributes to

people

Use synonyms

's bad health. To elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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, when any person uses modern gadgets excessively, they

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

live

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

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lifestyle which affects

people

Use synonyms

's posture and obesity

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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created

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, there are many types of radiation emitted by the gadgets which cause skin cancer, brain cancer and especially weak eyesight

due to

Linking Words

the blue light.

For example

Linking Words

, an article published by "The

Newyork

Correct your spelling

New York

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Time" newspaper showed that 60% population of America are struggling with harmful diseases by the overuse of smartphones.

In addition

Linking Words

, the technical approach distracts a person 's concentration, they do not focus on their studies

as well as

Linking Words

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

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. Moving

further

Linking Words

, these days in all working fields do their task through the technical things,

this

Linking Words

trend creates unemployment in the persons. To

explanation

Replace the word

explain

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, if all the job is done by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

machines or other electric things,

consequently

Linking Words

, the masses become jobless and they can not live a healthier life.

For instance

Linking Words

, a newspaper in Vietnam revealed that there are over one million

people

Use synonyms

suffering from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of job opportunities because manual labour is being replaced with technology.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, computerized tools have been isolating

people

Use synonyms

, they are always irritated and they can not talk to anyone properly.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

there are many benefits from

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, there are more negative sides which are greatly

effected

Verb problem

affect

show examples

human

beings

Change noun form

beings'

being's

show examples

lives, it

resulted

Wrong verb form

results

show examples

much

Fix the agreement mistake

many

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harmful health problems,

individuals

Correct word choice

and individuals

show examples

become unfocused from their studies or work.

Khush Guraya Thu Jan 21 2021

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clear development of ideas. The examples used are somewhat relevant but need to be further elaborated and connected to the main points.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. There is a need for better structuring of ideas and explicit signposting of arguments throughout the essay.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being benefical, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that liking your job is more important than how much money you earn while others think that your salary is more important than how much you like your job. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that big companies should provide sports and social facilities for the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?