Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however say that corporation and teamwork in schools are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A few individuals believe that schools should focus on making
students
Use synonyms
more competitive, whereas others assert that
coperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
and teamwork are vital for
students
Use synonyms
and must be given priority. I intend to mention both the views along with my opinion in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, those who
favours
Change the verb form
favour
show examples
former notion opine that
students
Use synonyms
need to have
compititive
Correct your spelling
competitive
thinking owing to the extensive competition in
e
Add an article
the
show examples
ducation sector and professional life. To explain, in order to take admission in
top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch
show examples
institute for tertiary education,
Use synonyms
s
Add an article
the
a
show examples
tudent must be trained enough to compete in its entrance examination. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, while taking
j
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ob in any prestigious organisation, one has to be in the top positions in the merit list.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2018, according to data given by staff selection board of India, the ratio of government posts to the number of applicants was 1 ratio 500, which indicated huge competition for a single post.
Thus
Linking Words
,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of requirements often
entice
Change the verb form
entices
show examples
guardians to give priority to the teaching of being competitive in schools.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, proponents of the latter idea assert that other aspects of education
such
Linking Words
as
Use synonyms
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
and
coperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
are vital for the torch bearers in future. To elaborate, most of the
organisatoin
Correct your spelling
organisation
prefer candidates who can perform well in
team
Use synonyms
and
coodrinate
Correct your spelling
coordinate
among colleagues efficiently. It is primarily due to the fact that most of the task in the company
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
joint efforts of the
team
Use synonyms
to complete it successfully. Owing to the above said reason, these
skills
Use synonyms
are a primary requirement of the organisations.
For example
Linking Words
, Multinational
comapanies
Correct your spelling
companies
, while hiring
students
Use synonyms
from universities, often include group discussions and group task so that they can judge the ability of the candidates to
work
Use synonyms
in a
team
Use synonyms
.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, it can be envisioned that it is imperative to teach
such
Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
in school. In my perspective,
t
Add an article
the
show examples
eaching of
cordination
Correct your spelling
coordination
and teamwork
skills
Use synonyms
are vital for the pupil as these
skills
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
develop them socially. To substantiate, when a
student
Use synonyms
interacts with fellow
students
Use synonyms
, it helps to make more friends in the school which is important for the development of a society.
These
Change the determiner
This
show examples
non trivial
Add a hyphen
non-trivial
show examples
aspect is not taken care while teaching
students
Use synonyms
to remain competitive. To illustrate, it is generally seen that in order to be more
competive
Correct your spelling
competitive
and study more,
student
Use synonyms
remain disconnected from other
students
Use synonyms
, which make them socially underdeveloped and ,
thus
Linking Words
,face problems in the later phase of their life. To encapsulate, even though
c
Add an article
the
show examples
ompetition is required for cracking competitive exams, still, I believe
t
Add an article
the
show examples
eaching of
coperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
and
Use synonyms
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
is more conducive for
a
Change the article
the
show examples
holistic development of a
student
Use synonyms
. You have recently shifted to Australia as an immigrant. Your cousin who lives in your native country is getting married
next
Linking Words
week. He/she has invited you to attend the marriage ceremony but you cannot attend. Write a letter to your cousin. In your letter Wish him/her
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
occasion Explain
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
him/her the reasons why you cannot come to attend the marriage Invite your cousin to Australia Dear Alan, Congratulation
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
lot
brother! I am extremely happy to know that you are engaged. Best of luck for the future dear. Mate, it is
a wonderful news
Remove the article
wonderful news
a piece of wonderful news
show examples
and I am happy for you that
finally
Linking Words
you are getting married to your girlfriend Liz. She
also
Linking Words
must be on cloud nine. Once again I congratulate both of you for your big day. I know you would feel angry to know that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will not be able to attend the wedding on 14th
Febuary
Correct your spelling
February
. As you know
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
shifted to Sydney
last
Linking Words
month after working so hard to get in
this
Linking Words
country, it would be difficult to again visit India in
such
Linking Words
a short span.
Major
Add an article
The major
A major
show examples
reason behind
this
Linking Words
is the requirement of the
work
Use synonyms
visa that I have to stay here for a continuous period of six months. I always wanted to attend and enjoy the wedding but circumstances
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
made it impossible.
However
Linking Words
, It would be great if you visit Australia on your honeymoon. I can make all arrangement and bookings in the hotels
ifor
Correct your spelling
for
this
Linking Words
. Apart from that, we can
also
Linking Words
meet with each other and celebrate your marriage. Hope you understand my situation and waiting for your reply regarding
h
Add a pronoun
your
show examples
oneymoon. With love Alex
Submitted by harkiratsingh.tu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: