IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Computer games are very common for all ages and nationalities. parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#computer #games #ages #nationalities #parents #value #children
In recent times, children, adolescents, and adults have fallen in love with software
games
, an act that has become global.
Thus
, parents are of the notion that
this
 action would result in poor academic performance eventually bringing harm to the young ones.I am of the opinion that disaster awaits the young who focus on
games
.
To begin
 with, the younger ones were born in a computerized era were colourful online puzzles are commonplace and are located at every nook and cranny of their homes, as
such
 they are easily attracted to them and lose interest in educational pursuit.
Furthermore
, immediate gratification is derived from winning
games
.
For example
, a four-year-old cousin of mine sits in front of the television to play PS4 immediately he returns from school and barely pays attention to his assignments. The subsequent effect of
such
 action is a bad result and
consequently
 failure to
further
 studies which are detrimental to kids.
In addition
, the younger generation has an underdeveloped mind and lack the ability to manage time appropriately. As
such
, they tend to get easily distracted and spend a chunk of their time on gaming applications relegating other educational work. To
further
 expatiate, a 16-year-old friend who intended to surf the internet for a solution to his classwork got distracted by an online puzzle eventually forgetting his aim of getting online. In conclusion,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
young generation gaming activities have a negative impact on the educational sector.
Thus
, my opinion remains that harmful effects result from computer
games
.
Submitted by Dammy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: