IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#britain #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care
In the United Kingdom, when a person reaches his or her retirement
age
, they often move to an old
age
 home and their needs will be taken
care
 of by someone. The government often pay for
this
care
 or by their own children. In my opinion, the nation is liable to take
care
 of
their
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 citizens, even though they have their own sons or daughters and hold responsibility.
Firstly
, A country can run the administration effectively when it collects taxes from its citizens and in return when a person at his or her retirement
age
, the government should protect and help them to lead a peaceful life.
Secondly
, A guaranteed regular payment is possible only by the country’s administration since it has an organized sector and enough funds. All beneficiaries would receive their pension on a regular basis, which would keep them out of mental stress. In Great Britain, the registered retirees who are eligible to avail all government subsidies and pension are much happier than the unregistered elder people, according to a survey taken by Cambridge University
last
 year.
On the other hand
,
firstly
 parents often spend their major share of earning to bring up their children which includes food, education and costumes. After they turn old, it is now their children’s time to support them.
Secondly
, Old people feel happy and relax when they spend their time with grandchildren’s rather than at an old
age
 home. My personal life had a clear example, my father had taken
care
 of his mother and she was happy staying with his son and grandsons, later she was admitted at an old
age
 house because of a work-related transfer. After six months, she had a heart attack due to mental depression, and it took three months for her to recover. Having considered the above arguments, in my view a nation is ultimately responsible for its citizens despite their generations to take
care
 of them.
Submitted by bjbharathkumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: