IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism is increasing day by day in nations. What are the affects on environment by tourism and what are the solution to curb these problems?

Nowadays we are living in a world where travelling has become an essential part of the human being's life,especially
since
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in
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 the
last
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 two decades. Exploring new countries through travelling has become like an official hobby for people around the world,
therefore
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, by observing
this
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 ongoing trend some people contended that it can cause problems for the environment and
also
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 suggested some possible solutions to overcome them. First of all,
tourism
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the tourism
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 trend is disrupting climate in various ways
such
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 as global warming and the disruptive biological food chains.
For example
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, to travel overseas civilians mostly prefer plane which produces almost 60%
of
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apply
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carbon
contain
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gases which leads eventually
us
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apply
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to the problem of global warming.
Secondly
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, travelling
also
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 contains some kind of a passion in some folks who choose to hunt wild animals or slash trees which can
also
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 interrupt the food chains in unmanageable ways which can
also
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 lead the climate to create certain natural calamities. These are two main highlighted problems which
individual
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individuals
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 might think
off
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of
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.
Moreover
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, every coin has two sides just like that every concern comes with its own solutions
such
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 as using an alternative to explore certain nations and
also
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 making strict rules for hunting
the
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apply
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animals or cutting
the
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apply
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trees down.
For instance
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, citizens can use another module of transportation through seas which uses low fuel
portion
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portions
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such
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 as boats and cruises where they can still visit the country without causing huge harm to nature.
Additionally
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, the United Nations should bind all the countries in one compulsory contract regarding
hunting
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the hunting
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 or slashing of animals and trees will be strictly prohibited. In
this
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 way, we would be able to protect our climate concerns relevant to tourism. In
a
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apply
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conclusion,
this
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 observation can be easily understood that
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overall
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the overall
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 tourism trend has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased in countries all around the world.
This
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 motion is apparently causing concerns to nature
such
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 as global warming and broken food chains which can be preventable by opting
alternative
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for alternative
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tool
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tools
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 to travel and establishing strict laws to save surroundings.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, but the development of ideas in the body paragraphs could be enhanced to provide a more detailed exploration of the issues and solutions.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples, and ensure that each body paragraph clearly relates back to the main topic of how tourism affects the environment, which will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improving transitions between ideas and ensuring a clearer logical flow can enhance the overall coherence of the essay. This could involve the use of linking phrases to connect your thoughts more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing both the negative impacts of tourism on the environment and potential solutions, showcasing a balanced approach.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • ecosystem
  • degradation
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecotourism
  • overcrowding
  • resource management
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • renewable energy
  • infrastructure
  • waste management
  • environmental impact
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