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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
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The right to retire is defined by an amount of time of working.
Although
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 every worker must agree to reach a certain age to enjoy their rest and pension, some people believe that it is not fair that all of them should keep on duty until their 65 years old, and I tend to agree with them.
Firstly
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, some workers deal with greater stress than others, because they are responsible for the well-being of multiple people.
For instance
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, nurses are constantly exposed to emergencies, diseases and must be available for the daily care of various patients. It is reasonable that those professionals should be allowed to retire earlier after long years serving directly to their community.
Secondly
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, there are occupations that can lead to physical consequences, due to long hours of labour. An example of it is farming by small producers. Workers in the countryside usually are exposed to weather, physical accidents and employ their own body to harvest and carry heavy products. The constant effort might fatigate and even harm their body capacity. The reduction of their production might impose
further
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 time working and serious damages. It would not be necessary if they could count on a pension while still being healthy.
Lastly
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, it has been largely studied that, all over the world, women work harder and longer than men. It happens mainly because their labour does not limit to professional workplaces, but it
also
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 accumulates with housekeeping. It is unfair that they ought to wait to complete the same 65 years to retire while an actual counting of working hours would point that they have been compromising almost the double of their life's time. To sum up, to be fair, there should be opened exceptions that considerate each working condition and occupation to allow people to enjoy their retirement as a reward of a life of service to society.
Submitted by clara.zamith7 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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