As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#inventions #computer #television #people #activity #effect #health

Health is an essential thing that

people

have to sustain.

However

these days, the invention of technology

such

as the computer and television has influenced some

people

, especially in their healthy life. A lack of exercise is a detrimental effect on innovation. From my perspective, I completely agree with

this

view for several reasons. The main reason why I believe that electronic inventions have a negative effect on

people

’s health is that many

people

, especially for white-collar workers, have to work so much time in front of the screen that can make

people

sitting whole day and inadvertently. They can suffer obesity since they forget to practise some exercises to make their body fit.

This

leads to a sedentary lifestyle, which makes it easier for them to be at risk of cardiovascular diseases. Another argument which should be considered is that children nowadays are addicted to playing video games and watching television. To be more specific, they have glued eyes to the screens and reduce

Add an article

the

show examples

ime for participating in outdoor activities.

This

makes them become a couch potato and they may suffer from

Add an article

show examples

isual impairment that can cause inconvenience in their daily life.

Moreover

, the eyes will get tired easily and for a harmful case, it will be blindness for their eyes. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the latest technology has a detrimental effect on society’s health because of many diseases it can bring

such

as obesity and blindness.

However

, if

people

can control their screen time, these inventions can be helpful for human’s life in certain activities.

Submitted by Nina Emily on Tue Jan 26 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it is better to other countries for greater work and life opportunities. Others argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents , for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both these views and give opinion.

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.