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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To reduce congestion, people should to be provided with free bicycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#congestion #people #bicycles
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Never before
people
Use synonyms
 face the issue of increasing traffics jams due to the high number of cars. The one
way
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 to decrease congestion is to introduced free bicycles to citizens. From my point of views, introducing
free cycling
Correct your spelling
freecycling
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 as a
way
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 of commuting is right
way
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 not only reduce
traffic
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 jam but
also
Linking Words
 to show
people
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 how many hours they waste in
traffic
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 and how
this
Linking Words
 option will solve parking issue. Having bicycles available around the
city
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 at no cost
,
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apply
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 might motivate some
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
u
Add the particle
to
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se
b
Add an article
a
the
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icycle as
m
Add an article
a
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ode of transportation to cover shorter distances.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
c
Add an article
the
a
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yclist will not only avoid wasting their time in a
traffic
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 jam
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 it will reduce the number of cars on the road during the rush hours. The pilot project of free
city
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 bikes was introduced in Victoria, BC by the government of the
city
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. Most
people
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 were interested
b
Add the particle
to
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e part of
this
Linking Words
 project,
however
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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not everyone was ready to
use
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b
Add an article
a
the
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icycle to reach their destination during the rainy weather. The final result shows during the normal weather condition the congestion on the road were reduced by 7%, whereas only 1.5%
traffic
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 reduction appeared during the rainy weather. Not all drivers might afford to park their car in private parking due to the cost, whereas the free parking is challengeable to find out. Providing easy access to free
city
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 bikes parking might shift the
users
Change to a genitive case
user's
users'
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 mind to
use
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b
Add an article
a
the
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icycle to commute rather than
c
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the
a
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ar. Solved issues with parking will
reduces
Change the verb form
reduce
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 the stress level among users and promote to
use
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 a healthier option to move around.
For example
Linking Words
, Google company in California introduced to
their
Change the pronoun
its
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 employees an opportunity to travel to work by bike with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
free parking. Most
people
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 started
c
Add the particle
to
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ome to the job on time and in a good mood as they stopped stressing about the parking. The
traffic
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 jam was reduced dramatically in
this
Linking Words
 area,
therefore
Linking Words
 showing that
i
Add an article
an
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ncreasing number of cyclist might reduce congestion on the area. Introducing cycling as an alternative
way
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 to commute on a short distance might effect on overall
traffic
Use synonyms
 reducing and solving parking issues.
Submitted by tatiana161996 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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