Some people think that the olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #olympics #st #century

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In today's world, there is a controversy on the topic of the importance of

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

in the 21st century since it is believed by some part of

Correct article usage

the

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population that

this

Linking Words

event may be unnecessary nowadays. I do not agree with

this

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opinion since,

firstly

Linking Words

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

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keep the history and the culture inside of them and,

secondly

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, people are motivated to do sports and other physical activities. First of all,

to begin

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with, I would like to mention that the Olympic Games have been held for more than 100 years,

from

Change preposition

since

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the year 1896 and their main goal is to unite all humans.

Therefore

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, not only do people are reunited by the same experience and emotions but

also

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they begin to know more about their culture, namely, about

its

Change the word

the

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athletes who are going to perform at

this

Linking Words

event.

As a result

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, both participants and spectators immerse fully in the atmosphere

and

Correct word choice

apply

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support everyone and feel the energy of others

Correct pronoun usage

which

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that is

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crucial for human beings.

For example

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, a recent survey conducted in Ukraine has shown that during

such

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large

events

Add a comma

events,

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all residents of the country are united by the same goal and desire to win and become a meeting country next year.

Finally

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, it can be clearly observed that

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

encourage and motivate to do sports that, in turn,

increases

Correct subject-verb agreement

increase

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the well-being of the country's citizens.

This

Linking Words

is because not only do spectators are engaged in

this

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competition but,

furthermore

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, they become so motivated by the performance of their sportsmen

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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have been training for the whole of their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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and now they are winners.

Hence

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, people see and understand clearly that nothing is impossible and they have a chance to change their life just by going to the gym and starting a fight with their laziness.

For instance

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, after the Olympic Games in the year 2013,

Correct article usage

the

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percentage of those who are doing different sports activities has increased by more than 20%. Eventually,

to conclude

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, I do not agree with the claim that

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

Games are no longer important in our world

due to

Linking Words

the fact that they bring with them a lot of history and culture and,

in addition

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they work as a motivation for other humans.

Submitted by veronika-glinka on Fri Jan 29 2021

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Task Achievement

While the essay provides a clear position on the statement, it could benefit from addressing potential opposing viewpoints. This would strengthen your argument by demonstrating consideration of different perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure to use cohesive devices more naturally and appropriately throughout the essay to enhance logical flow and connectivity between ideas.

Task Achievement

Minor grammar and stylistic adjustments could improve clarity, such as ensuring clear sentence structures and eliminating any awkward phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining the main arguments and summarizing them at the end.

Task Achievement

It successfully includes relevant examples to support the main points, such as the survey in Ukraine, which adds credibility to the argument.

Task Achievement

The use of complex sentences and varied vocabulary demonstrates a good command of the language.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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Some people think that the olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driver less. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driver less vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, people are becoming more and more interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. what do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?