IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays governments are investing more in public transport such as buses and trains rather than in building new roads. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 era, transportation has become a key factor for
day to day
Use the right word
day-to-day
show examples
 activity. The government are investing more and more in public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as buses and trains.
However
Linking Words
, the advancement of highways and public roads is declining every day. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss which factor has the upper hand.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is a good sign that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is investing in buses, trains and metros,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has increased the revenue of the nation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the cost of travelling is cheap compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other means of personal transit
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 a car, bike, etc.
Finally
Linking Words
, the area connectivity is so good that people can travel anywhere, anytime.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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India
Punctuation problem
India,
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 new railways are launched, it is called "Express movement", it covers the distance of
500kms
Correct your spelling
500 km
 in just 3 hours, which is humanly impossible in a personal vehicle and road connectivity. Adding to
this
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 point, the development has
also
Linking Words
 resulted in less pollution and less traffic.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people say that roadways are not being funded by national bodies
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 is true in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries. There are many scrap
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 with so many potholes and cracks, it becomes difficult for the public to go out
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own vehicles. Most of the internal business affairs are conducted through roadways.
For example
Linking Words
, the movement of petroleum products, agricultural products, etc. The underdevelopment has
also
Linking Words
 affected these businesses.
Overall
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, every means of transport
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a very important role in every
demographics
Fix the agreement mistake
demographic
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 of the world.
However
Linking Words
, I would say the development of
society
Check wording
society's
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 transport over roadways is beneficial because it increases income for the national bodies to run the nation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 income will directly or indirectly help in the improvement of roads as well. In conclusion, people should make use of the facilities provided by the parliament
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 by doing
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 we are encouraging the development of the country.
Definitely
Punctuation problem
Definitely,
show examples
 road movement is
also
Linking Words
 important
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the advantages of
parliament developed
Use the right word
parliament-developed
show examples
 transport outweigh the advantages of roads.

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task
Be clear on your view at the start. In the intro say if you think public transport is better or not. Then show steps to prove it. End with a short, clear view.
coherence
Use one idea in each paragraph. Start with a short line that shows the idea. Then give a fact or example. Use a link word to connect ideas.
coherence
Make the order easy to follow: list pro, con, then final view, or the other way. Use linking words like also, but, however, for example, in addition, finally.
language
Check the grammar and keep sentences short. Use simple tense and avoid long words.
structure
The essay uses clear markers like First, Second, and On the other hand.
content
There is a real example (Express movement) to back a point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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