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Band 6

Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children’s #activities #children #freedom
Parents
 are always overprotective to their
children
 in the early stages of their childhood. Few of them like to monitor their
children
 activities closely and guide them
accordingly
, while others want them to be independent in their journey. In
this
 essay, I will explore both the arguments and I will discuss with examples why I tend to agree with the latter view. While the
children
 upbringing is closely supervised by their
parents
.
This
 allows the
children
 to get the guidance, whenever they intend to make mistakes.
For instance
, most of the
parents
 in Indian culture are very protective of their
children
Replace the word
childhood
show examples
 upbringing. They'll closely supervise their
children
 activities and
accordingly
 mould them to whatever good habit it should be.
Furthermore
,
this
 most of the time make the bonding between
children
 and
parents
 strong, but at the same time vulnerable to the situations where they need to take important decisions quickly in the absence of their
parents
.
On the other hand
,
children
 should be left independent to make their own choices. With
this
Add a comma
,
show examples
they would be able to learn from their own mistakes.
This
 would
also
 make them street smart, and proactive about the real-world problems. It will eventually make them confident to anything that comes their way. To conclude, monitoring of the
children
 activities closely makes them dependent on their
parents
.
However
, they should be allowed complete freedom to solve their own problems and make their mark. Being a child myself, I work best when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 work independently and
this
 makes me more creative and confident.
Submitted by Shubham Trivedi on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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