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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
Wealthy
countries
 have been providing financial help to poor
countries
 for a long time. As globalization becomes a megatrend, a lot of
countries
 become rich while poor
countries
 still do not have
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 significant development
on
Verify preposition usage
of
in
show examples
 their economic. Whether poor
countries
 need help becomes a hot topic which is some help that except money. On the one hand, rich
countries
 can indeed help poor
countries
 by providing finances.
Firstly
,
this
 is the most direct ways to assist the destitute public. The financial can dissolve many problems which some things like
eaten
Change the form of the verb
eating
show examples
, clothes and other material needs.
However
,
this
 was just giving these needy
countries
 some short-term help,
in addition
Add a comma
,
show examples
these things cannot solve their poverty essentially. In the contrast, rich
countries
 need
p
Add the particle
to
show examples
rovide some job opportunities to poor
countries
. The best way is to set up companies in poor
countries
 and recruit people to work which
this
 method can supply sustainable development to their economic. For people have the chance to work they can earn money by themselves and
this
 will solve many families base problem.
Secondly
, the wealthy
countries
 can provide free education to children
of
Verify preposition usage
in
from
show examples
 poor
countries
. In
this
 cause, children can learn many
knowledges
Change the wording
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 and
then
 they will have the ability to make contributions to their
countries
, they can get the best way which can develop their
countries
' economics. So, these types of help will more meaningful than provide
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial help directly. In conclusion, it is better for rich
countries
 to give another type of the help to poor
countries
, like offer the work and education occasions to them,
then
 they will be developed themselves in a sustainable way.
Submitted by Maricle LI on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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