IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In my country, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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improved rapidly, there has been
also
Linking Words
 an increasing concern
on
Change preposition
for
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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. Plastic, one of the
environmental
Change the word
environmentally
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 unfriendly creatures,
enjoy
Correct subject-verb agreement
enjoys
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 a considerable popularity in
dining
Correct article usage
the dining
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 industry than ever. From my perspective, I believe the negative effects come before
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 because the environmental issues should not be ignored and catering firms could use substitutes
of
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for
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this
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 chemical substance. On the one hand, there are numerous harmful consequences to
use
Correct article usage
the use
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plastic
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of plastic
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 containers.
Firstly
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, as
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of people are aware
of
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apply
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that
this
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 polymer is non-biodegradable, there is a problem
about
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with
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methods
Correct article usage
the methods
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 to process the containers used. Two options, burying in soil, which exerts a deleterious effect on the land, and leaving those litters in
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
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, which pollute the sea and are dangerous for marine life, are both not sustainable ways to resolve the problem and have detrimental influences on the ecosystem. Alternatively, if
the
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apply
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society chose to burn it, which is the common method to
trashes
Wrong verb form
trash
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, the atmosphere would be affected negatively
due to
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 the formation of gaseous carbon-chlorine compounds that could
destruct
Verb problem
destroy
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 the ozone layer, which protects
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 from
U-V
Correct your spelling
UV
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 lights.
On the other hand
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,
apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 polymerised material, there are other kinds of substitutes for food and drink companies. Papery products, which are
also
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 portable, and even metal goods could be the alternatives. Meanwhile, the costs of using these two commodities are low
due to
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 the growing technology.
Thus
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, those firms in the catering industry can replace plastic containers
by
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with
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 others in order to improve environmental standards. In conclusion,
although
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 people rely on
convenience
Add an article
the convenience
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 of
this
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 polymer, there would be disastrous consequences for the ecosystem and other creatures
in
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on
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the
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apply
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Earth if we did not regulate its
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
show examples
.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly show both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. This can help strengthen your point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your main points. This will improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Try to give more specific examples or details about alternative materials; this will add depth to your argument.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion, which is good for task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical order, helping with overall understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • versatile
  • lightweight
  • durable
  • hygienic
  • environmental impact
  • pollution
  • landfills
  • recycling
  • reusable
  • sustainable
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