IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

First some people think that it is responsibilities of governments to take care of the environment while other believe that it is responsibility of the citizens discuss both views and give your opinion

#first #people #responsibilities #governments #care #environment #responsibility #citizens
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nevertheless
Linking Words
, in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 Era clean and green
atmosphere
Use synonyms
 is vital for
society
Use synonyms
 segment of
society
Use synonyms
 believe that it is the responsibility of
Correct article usage
the authority
show examples
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 to take care of the
atmosphere
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 points that it is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of the locals I would like to deliver both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments before forming an opinion
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the
atmosphere
Use synonyms
 is essential for the
society
Use synonyms
 to be setting
society
Use synonyms
 to be clean in the layer of air and ground which is good for
society
Use synonyms
 maintenance of the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
atmosphere
Use synonyms
is depend
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 mainly
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the government to bring
such
Linking Words
 laws to take care of
Use synonyms
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
 creating
issues
Use synonyms
 by the public transport are increasing the status of the dirty and harmful
atmosphere
Use synonyms
 which is not healthy for the
society
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
 traffic on the roads creating noise pollution
as well as
Linking Words
 pollution Hans government might bring some laws to be controlled
such
Linking Words
 atmospheric
issues
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
issues
Use synonyms
 of atmospheric
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 increasing which is not good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 so citizens should
also
Linking Words
 help to maintain or control atmospheric
issues
Use synonyms
 by giving
contributes
Wrong verb form
contributing
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 public transport to visit places and by avoiding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic bad which is the worst stops and use product which is recyclable for the more manufacturing of products are in larger scale creating the
issues
Use synonyms
 of atmospheric by reducing the production in less amount and working time of factories
thus
Linking Words
 citizens have to aware of atmospheric
issues
Use synonyms
 and help to reduce it
To conclude
Linking Words
 considering all the points mentioned above
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 must bring some laws to reduce the atmospheric
issues
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 citizens of
society
Use synonyms
 may
also
Linking Words
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 of that and create
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
atmosphere
Use synonyms
Submitted by naresh on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure a complete understanding of the question. While the essay addresses both views, the explanation could be more detailed with well-elaborated examples and clearer connections to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Work on coherence and cohesion by using linking words more effectively to connect ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. This will help in presenting a well-organized argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your argument effectively.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are addressed, showing a balanced consideration of the essay prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental policies
  • sustainable practices
  • legislation
  • regulation
  • green technologies
  • recycling
  • energy consumption
  • grassroots movements
  • framework
  • incentives
  • conservation efforts
  • significantly
  • collective
  • facilitate
What to do next:
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