Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Exercise
Use synonyms
is a necessary thing for humankind all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
. Some individuals think that
companies
Use synonyms
should provide that time to their employees during the day.In my opinion, Because it is important to the human body, little pieces of training should be done during the work shift. Both workers and employers will
gain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit from
this
Linking Words
situation and
this
Linking Words
essay aims to prove that.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as mentioned before,
exercise
Use synonyms
is an inevitable thing for people to do. If some individuals avoid doing
exercise
Use synonyms
, it can cause him/her several pain later. In the modern era, most jobs are safer than
earlier
Change preposition
in earlier
show examples
times. But even desk jobs can be harmful if a worker does not take a break or does some
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
. Since the development of humanity, workers' rights have always been important and especially in
this
Linking Words
century, all rights are protected. It is the duty of the company to prevent a situation where the worker may be harmed.
Therefore
Linking Words
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
should be provided by the company for employees during the day.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
companies
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
can be harmed when a worker is injured.
Also
Linking Words
, minor injuries prevent the employee from working at full performance.
This
Linking Words
is a bilateral position. If
companies
Use synonyms
avoid exercising their workers, both sides will suffer from
this
Linking Words
situation.
For example
Linking Words
, Toyota observed several-fold improvement in its work performance after it appointed a physiotherapist to all its departments. It illustrates that
this
Linking Words
is not only a human right but
also
Linking Words
has incredible benefits for the employer. To summarize, employers should provide employees with
exercise
Use synonyms
time during the day. Not just because it is a work right but it is
also
Linking Words
beneficial for
companies
Use synonyms
too.
Submitted by serhat.kayaa3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task question. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph is well-connected and contributes to the overall argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: