In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into the cities. Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause?

In today's world
Add a comma
,
show examples
there is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
growing number of graduates who are
unemplyed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
, obviously looking for their
first
work experience. In the rural areas
Add a comma
,
show examples
many people
grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
have grown
show examples
up and
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not find any suitable job in their
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
field of study
hence
, they move to
cities
. In
this
following essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
shall discuss the reason and what consequence that are faced, and how to solve the problem.
Firstly
, in most developing countries, there are
u
Add an article
an
show examples
rban and rural area,
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
who grew up in the rural areas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
would complete their highest qualification,
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
offered at their place
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they want to
purse
Correct your spelling
pursue
show examples
more studies they have to move to
cities
.
Likewise
, it is same when compared to employment they would to needing income for their survival.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
towns offer some jobs they are only limited to
c
Add an article
a
show examples
ertain level, and staff would not be able to see their personal growth.
In addition
to that
empolyee
Correct your spelling
employee
see more wages in the
cities
, and the
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
and culture would
also
be different.
As a result
Add a comma
,
show examples
there are more number of consequences like
cities
being densely populated and
c
Add an article
the
show examples
ost of living rises, and
sipke
Correct your spelling
spike
in pollution and greenhouse gas effect.
On the other hand
, if the same scenario arises there would be deserted rural, there would be no public transport and economic development. To conclude, the government should step forward and take necessary precautions like
s
Add an article
the
show examples
etting of
cooperate
Change the verb form
cooperating
show examples
office, Information
technology related
Add a hyphen
technology-related
show examples
jobs, and educational sectors in an
accessiable
Correct your spelling
accessible
location.
Submitted by sairam5191 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: