IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country. But others believe that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. You should write 180-220 words.

#people #charity #organizations #offer #country #aid
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There are many charity
organizations
 in each
country
 and town, most of them help to
people
, who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in their area.
However
, some
people
 think that they should help
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
people
 who needed and wherever they live. So, who should we help? Earthquakes, tsunamis, volcano eruptions, hurricanes- they are natural disasters occurring in different place of our planet. Millions of refugees need aid and home, to live, not to survive.
Therefore
, most
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
c
Add an article
the
show examples
harity
organizations
 want to help, want to give
a
Remove the article
apply
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hope to
people
, who injured and give up wherever they live.
Organizations
support
people
 living in Africa, in war conditions, and in my viewpoint, we should help
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
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all needed
people
 to make a better life and to develop our society.
On the other hand
, if we want to make better or to improve society, which we live, we can start to do it in the place where we live.
People
 should get insight into that not only refugees
n
Add the particle
to
show examples
eed
support
, if you want to go kind deals,
you can
Add the word(s)
but you can also
show examples
support
 poor families in your
country
. In my opinion,
people
 should start to help others in their own
country
, since, if all
people
 or all
organizations
support
people
 in own city doing kind deals, there will not
needed
Change the verb form
need
be needed
show examples
 in all counties. To sum up, I want to say that charity helps not only who needed,
also
 it helps us and I believe,
all kind deals
Add the word(s)
but all kind deals also
show examples
 make us more useful for society and it is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
p
Add an article
a
show examples
roblem to help
people
 in another
country
 or own city, most important thing that we
support
 them, we give them hope and learn to believe again.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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