Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

It is a fact that there is an escalation in

crimes

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

by wrongdoers after their

first

prison

term

, and

this

is owing to their contact with the habitual inmates in the

prison

This

essay will substantiate the remedial measures, which could be implemented to mitigate

this

issue. Admittedly, the company of repeated

crime

criminals

in the

prison

is negatively influencing

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fresh

criminals

. To explain the fact, when the habitual offenders and novel

criminals

are kept together in a cell, they tend to discuss more on the

crime

and how to commit

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

without being caught by cops.

As a result

, new

criminals

are brainwashed to commit more

crimes

Consequently

instead

of the thoughts of how to earn a living by noble ways and live a

crime free

Add a hyphen

crime-free

show examples

life, they start to

think

Verify preposition usage

aboutthink

show examples

how to commit or participate in more

crimes

Therefore

prison

becomes

major

Add an article

a major

show examples

crime

instigator in fresher rather than be a deterrence. Asserting

further

, there are below suggested remedial measures, which could mitigate the predicaments of

this

issue. To be precise, the novel

criminals

should be kept in the rehabilitation

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

instead

of prisons, where they would remain under the supervision of care-takers and psychologists. They will be imparted lessons to not to commit

such

crimes

again and make them aware that

such

crimes

will lead to

prison

Add an article

a prison

the prison

show examples

term

and they will have to finish the

term

time if they recommit any

crime

Futher

Correct your spelling

Further

Father

, they would be given vocational course training

such

carpentary

Correct your spelling

carpentry

carpenter

, electrician,

masionary

Correct your spelling

masonry

missionary

to name a few.

As a result

, they are now equipped with a skill which will earn them money to live

anoble

Correct your spelling

a noble

noble

life outside the rehabilitation

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

Further

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

can ask the employers to keep the quota of jobs to employ these transformed

criminals

As a result

, they can smoothly reintegrate in

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society. To conclude,

instead

of being a deterrence, the

prison

term

becomes

major

Add an article

a major

show examples

crime

instigator to the

first

time

criminals

Therefore

, it is wise to keep them isolated from the habitual

criminals

, and treat them psychologically and train them to be

skillful

Change the spelling

skilful

show examples

in any vocation stream, which will help them to win their

nobel

Change the capitalization

Nobel

show examples

bread once they are reintegrated into the society.

Submitted by Mandar on Sat Feb 06 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

365 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Online shopping seems to be replacing the traditional method of buying. However, some buyers are skeptical to this practice. Discuss both benefits and risks associated with online shopping.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed becaused of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?