IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The government should lower the budget on the arts to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

#government #budget #arts #money #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years there has been a heated argument about how the governments should invest the money. Some people believe that
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
governments should increase investment in schooling rather than
arts
Use synonyms
 while others who do not think that.From my own point of view, I think
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
governments should balance between these two fields. On the one hand, all of us knows that the teaching in any countries considered the main gate for economic,technology,and science enhancement which can put the country on the top among the other countries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal the government should be creating
a strong strategies
Correct the article-noun agreement
a strong strategy
strong strategies
show examples
to allocate the budget effectively in
this
Linking Words
 part.
For example
Linking Words
, in Saudi ,Arabia the ministry of high education was launched a creative program named Classera ,which allowed the teachers to communicate effectively with the pupils and their family.
As a result
Linking Words
, education has been improved dramatically.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we should no ignore the importance of
arts
Use synonyms
 in our life,because without
arts
Use synonyms
 our life will be without colours and meanings.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
arts
Use synonyms
 played a vital role for a long time and we should be preserved for our
next
Linking Words
 generation.
For instance
Linking Words
, the museum and art gallery To sum up ,after analysing both sides of the argument it is not hard to see that balanced should be applied to have efficient results in the long term.
Submitted by  Badrieh  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: