More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays many young
kids
Use synonyms
are facing
obesity
Use synonyms
and it is increasing alarmingly in all the grown countries. It is a major concern across the globe.
This
Linking Words
essay elaborates main causes of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
overweighting
Replace the word
overweight
show examples
of
kids
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
major effects
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
obese
Replace the word
obesity
show examples
. First and foremost, why many children are suffering from fatness? One of the main causes of
obesity
Use synonyms
is junk
food
Use synonyms
and no physical activity. In
this
Linking Words
context, countless young
kids
Use synonyms
are not eating proper hygienic
food
Use synonyms
as in developed countries both the parents are working and busy with their office commitments,
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
spend time
to cook
Change the verb form
cooking
show examples
healthy
food
Use synonyms
for their
kids
Use synonyms
. Children are not allocating spare time to exercising
moreover
Linking Words
they are investing maximum duration on television, laptops
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
video games etc.
For Instance
Linking Words
, more young people are attracted to fast foods like pizza, burgers
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
soft drinks
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
leads to more
obesity
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
juvenile
Add an article
the juvenile
a juvenile
show examples
is suffering from overweight
then
Linking Words
it has severe effects as well. Mainly, many youngsters are suffering from
diabetics
Replace the word
diabetes
show examples
and
heart
Use synonyms
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
.
In Contrast
Linking Words
to adults,
grown up
Add a hyphen
grown-up
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
are facing
heart
Use synonyms
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age because of unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
and diabetics
count
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
kids
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
growing rapidly
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
the world. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major concern in
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation.
For Example
Linking Words
, recently one college student
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
suffering from excess overweight
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
childhood
as a result
Linking Words
he
got
Verb problem
had
show examples
Use synonyms
heart
Correct article usage
a heart
show examples
stroke
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age and is in
critical
Add an article
a critical
show examples
situation.
To sum up
Linking Words
, one of the major causes that many
Use synonyms
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
are facing from
heart
Use synonyms
stroke etc across the nation. To overcome
this
Linking Words
concern, parents need to play
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
significant role in their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
healthy life and
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation makes
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
strong.
Submitted by Kishor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: