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Band 4

A Government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extend do you agree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defense
These days the importance of welfare
state
 is growing a lot, much more than the importance of
defense
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defence
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, that's why
i
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I
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 tend to believe that countries should enhance their social systems. There are two opposite points of view about
this
 issue. The ones that are in favour of my statement base their thoughts on the concept in which the social
state
 is the most important milestone of
the
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apply
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humanity. There can be no doubt that public
spendind
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spending
 has increased our well being, bolstering our social security
sistems
Correct your spelling
systems
 and augmenting our incomes. Yet the Welfare
State
 ensures the stability, it gives us
the
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access to
the
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education, to hospitals, school and parks ,that are nowadays called "Commons".
Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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 all those social advantages could be encountered when it comes to unemployment benefit, retirements and the whole social insurance.
However
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,However
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 as the economists usually say the welfare
state
 has created his own ruin, due to the unsustainability of a too old population that can't work to finance the public spending. The latter is the point from which it starts the argument of the ones that are against the social expenditure. Those use to think that it's much more convenient to protect the citizens from external attacks, surging the amount of money that the governments give to army, militaries and other kinds of forces. The main argument that they use is that the geopolitics doesn't go out of style, it's an evergreen, and
as a
result
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,result
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 people should pay more attention to public
defense
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defence
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. Ultimately the decision may be a difficult one,
nevertheless
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,nevertheless
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i
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I
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 believe that we have to dole out our resources and the principal goal is to enhance people's lives,
therefore
 social benefits can't be bargained.
Submitted by riccardorubini7 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • national security
  • sovereignty
  • foreign entities
  • military sector
  • economic growth
  • inequality
  • vulnerable populations
  • elderly
  • disabled
  • unemployed
  • social stability
  • public health
  • balanced approach
  • appropriate funding
  • nation’s needs
  • priorities
What to do next:
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