A Government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extend do you agree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defense

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These days the importance of welfare

state

Use synonyms

is growing a lot, much more than the importance of

defense

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defence

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, that's why

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tend to believe that countries should enhance their social systems. There are two opposite points of view about

this

Linking Words

issue. The ones that are in favour of my statement base their thoughts on the concept in which the social

state

Use synonyms

is the most important milestone of

the

Remove the article

apply

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humanity. There can be no doubt that public

spendind

Correct your spelling

spending

has increased our well being, bolstering our social security

sistems

Correct your spelling

systems

and augmenting our incomes. Yet the Welfare

State

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ensures the stability, it gives us

the

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apply

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access to

the

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apply

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education, to hospitals, school and parks ,that are nowadays called "Commons".

Linking Words

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

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all those social advantages could be encountered when it comes to unemployment benefit, retirements and the whole social insurance.

Linking Words

However

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,However

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as the economists usually say the welfare

state

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has created his own ruin, due to the unsustainability of a too old population that can't work to finance the public spending. The latter is the point from which it starts the argument of the ones that are against the social expenditure. Those use to think that it's much more convenient to protect the citizens from external attacks, surging the amount of money that the governments give to army, militaries and other kinds of forces. The main argument that they use is that the geopolitics doesn't go out of style, it's an evergreen, and

as a

Linking Words

result

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,result

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people should pay more attention to public

defense

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defence

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. Ultimately the decision may be a difficult one,

Linking Words

nevertheless

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,nevertheless

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believe that we have to dole out our resources and the principal goal is to enhance people's lives,

therefore

Linking Words

social benefits can't be bargained.

Submitted by riccardorubini7 on Wed Feb 10 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

national security
sovereignty
foreign entities
military sector
economic growth
inequality
vulnerable populations
elderly
disabled
unemployed
social stability
public health
balanced approach
appropriate funding
nation’s needs
priorities

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A Government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extend do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

People have diﬀerent views regarding the importance of a building’s function in comparison to its exterior appearance. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that a construction’s purpose should be more highly valued than the appearance for a number of reasons.

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that men and woman have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and your opinion.