IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#directors #organizations #salaries #employees #people
It is often argued that educating
children
 to become good citizens is the teachers’ responsibility, while others believe
parents
 should be the ones undertaking
this
 job. I strongly feel that
although
children
 spend most of their
time
 at schools,
parents
 must be responsible for raising their
kids
 according to the correct moral values. On the one hand, some people think that since
children
 spend a great amount of
time
 in the schools, it is the teacher’s job to make sure that the students learn how to become great citizens.
This
 is because
parents
 do not have enough
time
 to provide their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
 knowledge regarding moral and ethical values as they are working. As an illustration of
this
, several
parents
 wake up early to go to work and when they arrive at night, their
children
 are already sleeping.
On the other hand
, It is the
parents
’ responsibility to teach their
children
 how to behave in the right manner in society because they were the ones who made a choice of building a family.
Therefore
, even though sometimes it is hard to balance work and personal life, mothers and fathers have to make
time
 to help their
kids
 to grow up and be exemplary members of the community they live in.
Thus
, the burden of educating youth cannot be put on school teachers. In conclusion, whilst there will always be those who believe teachers are responsible for educating
children
 about ethical and moral values necessary for life, I am
conviced
Correct your spelling
convinced
 that
this
 should be done by the
parents
 as they are responsible for bringing up their
kids
 in the best way.
Submitted by larissa.sepulveda19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: