IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree. Provide relevant example if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays jobs are easily available online, all are with their own offers either be with a huge
salary
Use synonyms
 or others with more holiday and offs. One might agree that a higher monthly income is more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 for workers than those with lower salaries but with better
job
Use synonyms
fullfillment
Correct your spelling
fulfilment
. I for one agree that
jobseekers
Correct your spelling
job seekers
show examples
 do prioritize a higher income.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a higher
salary
Use synonyms
 is what drives a person to apply
in
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 an institution. People,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 new graduates tend to find
job
Use synonyms
 posts that have higher incentives and allowances.
As a result
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
 seekers are motivated to
work
Use synonyms
 because they know that
however
Linking Words
 hard
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 they might have, it will be properly paid off.
For example
Linking Words
, persons who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 working in a factory tend to have higher product
ouputs
Correct your spelling
outputs
 if the plantation they
work
Use synonyms
 in pay by the number of finished items they made.
Clearly
Add a comma
,Clearly
show examples
this
Linking Words
 shows that people are more inspired to
work
Use synonyms
 if they are paid well. Another reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 competition with a high paying
job
Use synonyms
 is tough, a lot of candidates are being interviewed for a specific position with a generous offer, sadly only a few are selected. There are some professionals who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not even practice the profession they studied, eventually, they tend to join a different career that everyone usually
chase
Change the verb form
chases
show examples
 because it pays higher. As an example, In the Philippines nursing was in demand in 2011,
therefore
Linking Words
, other professions
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and engineers would study nursing, just because the nursing profession was highly opted for in
first
Linking Words
 world countries. Definitely,
this
Linking Words
 is
a clear evidence
Remove the article
clear evidence
a piece of clear evidence
a shred of clear evidence
show examples
 that
jobseekers
Correct your spelling
job seekers
show examples
 prioritize a higher
salary
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, one would admittedly choose a high paying
job
Use synonyms
,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 a position at
work
Use synonyms
 which is easy going but has less
salary
Use synonyms
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 people nowadays are
money driven
Add a hyphen
money-driven
show examples
with
Verify preposition usage
by
show examples
 their daily activities and needs.
Submitted by oxydo17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: