Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Should

teenagers

Use synonyms

be required to unpaid

work

Use synonyms

in time, when they are not studying? Should they do any

community

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

for no

money

Use synonyms

? In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

the answer is absolutely clear and it is – no. I strongly believe that unpaid

job

Use synonyms

does more harm than benefits. Each

job

Use synonyms

must be paid. It does not matter whether it was done by

adult

Add an article

an adult

show examples

or by a teenager or child. The

job

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

paid well is always done more accurate and clear. Some may argue that

children

Use synonyms

can do

this

Linking Words

unpaid

work

Use synonyms

for some reasons but I totally disagree with those statements. Paid

job

Use synonyms

is a good way for

teenagers

Use synonyms

to learn some aspects of adult life. If they learn it in childhood it would be easier for them when they grow up. Of

course

Add a comma

,course

show examples

job

Use synonyms

for

community

Use synonyms

benefits both

teenagers

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

. But it does not cancel the fact that unpaid

job

Use synonyms

is wrong.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

parents can give some

money

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

who do any

community

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

. So

teenagers

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would be able to help the

community

Use synonyms

and at the same

time

Add a comma

,time

show examples

they will earn their own

money

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. It will help them in their future

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when they would not underestimate their capabilities. They will

also

Linking Words

learn that

money

Use synonyms

are not so easy to earn as they may think. I have no doubt that it will improve relationships between parents and their

children

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. In

conclusion

Add a comma

,conclusion

show examples

I would like to say that parents should pay their

children

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’s unpaid

community

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work

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if they want their

children

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to grow mentally health and hardworking.

Alina

Feb 13, 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

required
unpaid
community work
benefit
teenagers
life skills
volunteering
empathy
compassion
socially aware
responsible
interact
diverse backgrounds
cultural understanding
tolerance
work experience
essential skills
employment
interests
passions
career development
contribute
betterment
development
local community
mental well-being
stress
self-esteem
burden
academic
personal lives
time management
support
balance
participate
encouraged
numerous benefits
individuals
conclusion

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