Once children start school, teachers have more influences on their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #school #teachers #influences #development #parents

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I definitely agree with the statement that once

children

Use synonyms

get admission

Change preposition

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school,

teachers

Use synonyms

have more impact on them than even their

parents

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. In the following paragraphs, I intend to put forth my arguments in support of my view.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

children

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spend quality

time

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with

teachers

Use synonyms

Although

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they spend more

time

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with

parents

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at home

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

is not as productive as the small amount of

time

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spent with

teachers

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. We all know that

parents

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are busy with their work most of the

time

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and even if

children

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are around, they hardly pay any attention to them.

Teachers

Use synonyms

on the other

Linking Words

hand

Add the comma(s)

hand,

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are in school for the

students

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. All the

time

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they are either teaching the

students

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or guiding them in extra-curricular activities. They keep

children

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focussed on study and

as a result

Linking Words

have more intellectual impact on them. What is more,

teachers

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are role models for

students

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. They are scholars in action. They not only

influence

Verb problem

apply

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intellectually but

socially

Rephrase

also socially

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Students

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inadvertently follow their

teachers

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‘ behaviour too. They observe how the teacher walks, talks and tackles difficult situations. At

home

Add a comma

home,

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they have

parents

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to guide them socially, but it is seen that in nuclear families,

parents

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hardly find

time

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for

this

Linking Words

. Whatever social skills

children

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learn are from TV or other activities they do at home.

Teachers

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also

Linking Words

guide

students

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for

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their future careers.

Students

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teachers

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more than

parents

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because they feel that

teachers

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are more aware of the world around them and they have better capability of guiding them. So, they depend on

teachers

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more than

parents

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. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, once

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

schooling starts,

teachers

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and

parents

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both have influence but

teachers

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influence

children

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more.

Submitted by patelbhoomi168 on Sat Feb 13 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

288 words

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Once children start school, teachers have more influences on their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Studies show that many people in the prison have low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree?

computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree