Once children start school, teachers have more influences on their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I definitely agree with the statement that once
children
get admission
in
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to
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school,
teachers
have more impact on them than even their
parents
. In the following paragraphs, I intend to put forth my arguments in support of my view.
To begin
with,
children
spend quality
time
with
teachers
.
Although
they spend more
time
with
parents
at home
but
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apply
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this
time
is not as productive as the small amount of
time
spent with
teachers
. We all know that
parents
are busy with their work most of the
time
and even if
children
are around, they hardly pay any attention to them.
Teachers
,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
are in school for the
students
. All the
time
they are either teaching the
students
or guiding them in extra-curricular activities. They keep
children
focussed on study and
as a result
have more intellectual impact on them. What is more,
teachers
are role models for
students
. They are scholars in action. They not only
influence
Verb problem
apply
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intellectually but
socially
Rephrase
also socially
show examples
.
Students
inadvertently follow their
teachers
‘ behaviour too. They observe how the teacher walks, talks and tackles difficult situations. At
home
Add a comma
home,
show examples
they have
parents
to guide them socially, but it is seen that in nuclear families,
parents
hardly find
time
for
this
. Whatever social skills
children
learn are from TV or other activities they do at home.
Teachers
also
guide
students
for
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in
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their future careers.
Students
follow
teachers
more than
parents
because they feel that
teachers
are more aware of the world around them and they have better capability of guiding them. So, they depend on
teachers
more than
parents
. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, once
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schooling starts,
teachers
and
parents
both have influence but
teachers
influence
children
more.
Submitted by patelbhoomi168 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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