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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs.

#people #women #role #men #country’s #police #force #army #kinds #jobs
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As can be seen that in most countries
men
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 outnumber
women
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 in the
police
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 and army. There is heated debate about whether
women
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 should play an equal role as
men
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 in these kinds of jobs. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will delve into both opinions and give my support. On the one hand, according to many people, the division of labour is based on the belief that
men
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 and
women
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 have different strengths. On average,
women
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 are
asnot
Verify preposition usage
asasnot
show examples
 strong as
men
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 physically, so they do not belong to the
police
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 station and military group. It is known to all that the jobs of
police
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 involve a great deal of fighting and violence, and
men
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 can perform better in
this
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 job.
Besides
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,
women
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, who are believed to be more gentle and lenient, should keep themselves away from the battlefield, where cruel killing is commonly seen.
On the other hand
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, some people argue that the stereotype should be changed and
women
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 need to be admitted to the
police
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 and army. Nowadays, with the rising rate of female crime, policewomen can be better understanding and given better strategies in dealing with these.
Additionally
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, the high level of
women
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’s education in modern society, as well as the development of the automatic weapon, are other factors, which means woman’s weakness in the physical aspect is not a problem anymore. All in all, in my opinion, gender equality should be encouraged in recruitment in all occupations and we can expect to see more
women
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 join the army and
police
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 in the future.
However
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, it seems unrealistic for
women
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 to play an equal role as
men
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 in these two jobs.
Submitted by vttha22 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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