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Band 5.5

some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #advertisements #effects #individuals
In modern society, advertising screens can be seen at every corner of megacities.
While
 many people claim that advertising plays an essential role in stimulating the sale of products, others argue that excessive exposure to advertisements creates negative impacts on society and individuals as a whole. In my essay, I will delve into the latter view. On the one hand, it must be admitted that
due to
Change preposition
by
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 promoting advertising products, companies can achieve substantial profits. In
such
 an information-driven global market, through publication,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 from many parts of the world can access the pieces of information and functions of consumer goods. Without advertisement campaigns, firms are not able to enlarge the circle of customers and survive in the fierce
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
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.
Furthermore
, as taxpayers, they tend to make more contributions to the increase in government revenue.
On the other hand
, a part citizen
also
 shows drawbacks of the advertisement industry since it may lead to an unhealthy lifestyle and exaggerate the benefits of certain goods.
For instance
, the model wears the latest dress with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 limited handbag
seems
Correct word choice
and seems
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 to be a shining diamond in the sun.
As a consequence
, customers especially the young generation become discontented with what they already have and are likely to waste time and money on trying fancy things. All in all, judged by a detailed analysis of both sides, I think that the efforts of
manufactures
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manufacturers
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 to promote their goods are not to blame.
Additionally
, related laws should be launched to ensure that there is no deception in any advertisement and
promote
Fix the infinitive
to promote
show examples
 healthy competition among producers.
Submitted by vttha22 on

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improvement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This helps to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing to the reader.
improvement
Ensure each paragraph is focused on a single main idea. This will help in maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout your essay.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion of both views.
task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument and provided a reasoned conclusion, which shows a balanced approach to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer spending
  • Economic growth
  • Brand awareness
  • Market competition
  • Innovation
  • Employment opportunities
  • Tax revenues
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Idealized lifestyle
  • Dissatisfaction
  • Harmful stereotypes
  • Manipulative tactics
  • Psychological impacts
  • Ethical standards
  • Responsible consumer behavior
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