IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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Many
people
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 believe that young
people
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 have to do some volunteer
work
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 for their local community whenever they have
a
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apply
show examples
spare time because
this
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 can be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 statement because teenagers are not obliged to do
unpaid
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the unpaid
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 job during their free time. The main reason that
justify
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justifies
show examples
 the disagreement with
this
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 view is that young
people
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 have a burden of
school
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schoolwork
show examples
work
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. Their teachers and parents expect them to do their
homworks
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homework
, projects, and exam revisions on the top of attending the lessons
everyday
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every day
show examples
. If they are forced to volunteer in a charitable event,
such
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 as
raisng
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raising
 funds for poor
people
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 , they would encounter enormous pressure to balance between their studies and unpaid
work
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responsibilties
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responsibilities
. Another paramount reason,
this
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 can
deminish
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diminish
 the importance of
the
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apply
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volunteer
work
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 in terms of its value and message. when students are forced to do something they do not have interest in it, they would grow a negative notion against it, and
therefore
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 they feel resentment and
angry
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anger
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 would significantly contribute to
undermine
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undermining
show examples
 the benefits of doing unpaid
work
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 for the society because the
essense
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essence
 of
the
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
work
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is rely
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relies
show examples
 on showing
willingness
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a willingness
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 to offer help so that they could effectively learn how to support their communities. To sum up, it is clear that young
people
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 may hate volunteering if they are forced to do it because they have school responsibilities.
Linking Words
Moreover
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,Moreover
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 it could probably distort the moral and ethical value of volunteering.
Submitted by khadega.amer09 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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