IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

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Over the years, it is a common trend for
workers
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 to get little or no exercise while working or even during their free period, and
as a result
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 of
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this
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,this
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 they now have serious health issues.
This
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 essay will state that the competitive labour force is the primary reason for the insufficient rest and
also
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 include
that
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apply
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mandatory participation in
breaks
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 as a solution. The high competitiveness of the labour force is the major reason why
workers
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 find it hard exercising. To put it in another way, in
order
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 to stay relevant and on top of their jobs, it has been observed that employees tend to put in extra hours so as to meet up with targets and achieve goals which could place them in a better position for a promotion.
Consequently
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, they ignore the importance of taking a rest and doing exercises,
therefore
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, putting them at risks of ill health.
For example
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, it has been reported by the
WHO
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whom
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 that prolonged sitting for more than six hours predisposes one to hypertension and type-2 diabetes and these
has
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have
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 been on the increase amongst
workers
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.
Furthermore
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, in
order
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 to ensure that employees are in good health, it is highly essential that the employer makes it mandatory for every member of staff to take frequent
breaks
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 while working.
This
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 includes taking a walk around the office facility.
Also
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, the management could
also
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 provide exercising facilities and make it paramount that every member participates in relieving
stress
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the stress
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 of working in
order
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 to prevent breaking down while working and a poor attitude to work.
For instance
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, there was a relatively increased productivity at Nestle Nigeria after the management made it compulsory for all members of staff to take occasional
breaks
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 while working. In conclusion, the competitive nature of work is the main reason why
workers
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 do not exercise. It is
however
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 important that they take
breaks
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 while working in
order
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 to prevent them from falling ill.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
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