: Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete,while others believe that children learn the teamwork . Discuss both view and give your opinion
Many
people
argue that children should be more competitive, while
others think that learning teamwork would contribute to their development. In my opinion, I believe that both competitive
and teamwork are encouraged to children when they come to Replace the word
competition
sport
. Sport tournament
Fix the agreement mistake
Sports tournaments
is
quite common,and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
enjoy it
. As we know,many sports are organised in hierarchic scales,which indicates those Correct pronoun usage
them
people
who are at lower rank are not good
as those Rephrase
as good
are
at the top.Correct pronoun usage
who are
As a result
,people
competition arise
so they will prove their abilities to others and show they are worth to themselves and their peers.Correct subject-verb agreement
arises
Base
on Wrong verb form
Based
a
research , there are 60% of school football players feltRemove the article
apply
sastify
when they proved to be skilful Correct your spelling
satisfied
superior
to other players . So competition is important in everything not only just sports,it encourages Correct word choice
and superior
people
to be better and stronger . On the other hand
,teamwork is fundamental to keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
steady
atmosphere and Correct article usage
a steady
help
a person in progress.First of all,children playWrong verb form
helping
Add an article
the
a
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
sport
in a team and they all have in a
common is they want to feel part of the group ,Correct article usage
apply
this
gives them sense
of purpose or reason so that they can Correct article usage
a sense
fighting
for Wrong verb form
fight
whos
and motivated .Plus,they Correct your spelling
who
also
gain the collaboration between their teammates so they will have a positive thought and keeing
up the fight. Correct your spelling
keep
To sum up
,these are the
evidence show that competition and cooperation are part of sports Correct article usage
apply
,
when these 2 factors group together it makes the Remove the comma
apply
sport
match become more interesting and spiritualChange the noun form
sports
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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