: Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete,while others believe that children learn the teamwork . Discuss both view and give your opinion

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Many
people
Use synonyms
argue that children should be more competitive,
while
Linking Words
others think that learning teamwork would contribute to their development. In my opinion, I believe that both
competitive
Replace the word
competition
show examples
and teamwork are encouraged to children when they come to
sport
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Sport tournament
Fix the agreement mistake
Sports tournaments
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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quite common,and
people
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enjoy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. As we know,many sports are organised in hierarchic scales,which indicates those
people
Use synonyms
who are at lower rank are not
good
Rephrase
as good
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as those
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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at the top.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
competition
arise
Correct subject-verb agreement
arises
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so they will prove their abilities to others and show they are worth to themselves and their peers.
Base
Wrong verb form
Based
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on
a
Remove the article
apply
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research , there are 60% of school football players felt
sastify
Correct your spelling
satisfied
when they proved to be skilful
superior
Correct word choice
and superior
show examples
to other players . So competition is important in everything not only just sports,it encourages
people
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to be better and stronger .
On the other hand
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,teamwork is fundamental to
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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atmosphere and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
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a person in progress.First of all,children play
Add an article
the
a
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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sport
Use synonyms
in a team and they all have in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common is they want to feel part of the group ,
this
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gives them
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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of purpose or reason so that they can
fighting
Wrong verb form
fight
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for
whos
Correct your spelling
who
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and motivated .Plus,they
also
Linking Words
gain the collaboration between their teammates so they will have a positive thought and
keeing
Correct your spelling
keep
up the fight.
To sum up
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,these are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence show that competition and cooperation are part of sports
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when these 2 factors group together it makes the
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
match become more interesting and spiritual
Submitted by thien on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • competition
  • teamwork
  • individual sports
  • team sports
  • perseverance
  • resilience
  • goals
  • support
  • responsibilities
  • social bonds
  • community
  • communicate
  • trust
  • group effort
  • balanced perspective
  • well-rounded skill set
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