IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

:with a growing population ,many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food .What are the advantages and disavantage of doing this

#population #people #focus #gm #food #disavantage
For the past decades, we have been eating
GM
food
 until now ,
GM
food
 means “Growth
Hormone
 “
food
 which
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of meats and
vegies
Correct your spelling
veggies
show examples
 that we eat
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 contain
this
hormone
 .
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
,it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
bads
Correct your spelling
bad
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our body but it
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
lot
 of positive point in it. As long as we know,
something
Correct pronoun usage
some
show examples
 that are unnatural
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 bad and when we eat
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
food
contain
Wrong verb form
containing
show examples
these
Change the determiner
this hormone
these hormones
show examples
hormone
 ,we probably
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 unnatural as it has changed our chemical
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
show examples
 in our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.
Accordingly
 to
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 research, young generations
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
are growing faster
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
last
 10 years generation ,
this
 is because all the
food
has contained
Wrong verb form
contains
show examples
GM
 , so when these kids
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
fast they will develop early puberty which brings them side effects
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Stunned Growth,Behavior Changes,etc… Another problem is when a
lot
 of animals
such
 as
cow
Fix the agreement mistake
cows
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the best example. When many cows are produced they will release a
lot
 of methane gas
while
 farting which is
type
Add an article
a type
the type
show examples
 of
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
 gas and increases the rate of global warming .
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 it has been causing a
lot
 of problems
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are consequences for doing
this
GM
food
 project .
For
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion,there are reasonable reasons that scientist still
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
GM
food
 because it
satisfy
Change the verb form
satisfies
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human need . Imagine one day ,we have to feed more than 7
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 people and
that is
 a huge number
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
the
food
manafactures
Correct your spelling
manufactures
manufacturers
manufacturer
 cannot demand for everybody if we
didn’t
Wrong verb form
don’t
show examples
inject
this
hormone
 into
food
 to grow.Plus,it’s
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
not only
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
demanding but
also
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 time and money for farmers so
this
 is a very good point too. In conclusion,we can see it is not totally bad if we
producing
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
 more
GM
food
 to demand people need . As long as we exercise regularly and eat less meat more
vegies
Correct your spelling
veggies
show examples
 or fruits ,we still can lead a very healthy life like others .So we not
just
Rephrase
only
show examples
 look for the bad points of
GM
food
 but we
also
 gain benefits from it .
Submitted by thien on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: