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Band 5.5

Some people believe that hospitals should spend money on equipment. Others think it would be better to spend money hiring doctors and nurses. Give your own opinion and examples.

#people #hospitals #money #equipment #doctors #nurses
There is no doubt that both equipment and professionals from the healthcare system are essential when running a Hospital. While some people believe equipment is more important than
doctors
 and vice versa, I do believe the balance of resources to be spent are essential, but spending money on health staff should be the best option and
this
 essay will support my point of view with examples.
Firstly
, in
this
 pandemic ,
situation
Add an article
a situation
the situation
show examples
 it's possible to see daily in the news all kinds of awful hospital resources management.
For instance
, couples of hospitals running out of oxygen cylinders and breathing machines to help
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 large number of covid infected. Amazonas received a large number of cylinders after the scandal noticed when the hospitals are incapable to keep patients alive.
On the other hand
,
doctors
 and
nurses
 are moving far from home to cities with critical positions due to
lack
Add an article
a lack
the lack
show examples
 of professionals.
In addition
, the
doctors
 and
nurses
 are helping sick people not only by covid
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but saving them from a thousand existing illnesses. As a consequence,
doctors
 and
nurses
 are probably more efficient even without enough machines. To sum up, there are advantages to having healthcare`s employees taking care of individuals even though the best condition is to have a suitable amount of people who care for others and
also
 their tools to do their mission of saving lives. In conclusion, despite the huge importance of equipment, we must take
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 consideration that
doctors
 and
nurses
 can do much more without it than vice versa. In my view, health staff are more important in hospitals.
Submitted by agenciabrushup on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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