SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT HOBBIES NEED TO BE DIFFICULT TO BE ENJOYABLE. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
think that leisure pursuits are required to be challenging and difficult. While some
people
Use synonyms
agree with the statement, I personally disagree with it because
people
Use synonyms
should choose their hobby based on their situations and interest. On the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
find it more enjoyable when they do
activities
Use synonyms
that are relaxed. Easy hobbies might be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
boring, but others feel that they are happy and satisfied.
For instance
Linking Words
, swimming
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been my forte since I was 10 years old.
This
Linking Words
hobby requires very little equipment and easy to learn. In
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sweltering weather, taking a dip is not only improve my physically, but
also
Linking Words
a satisfying activity
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
helps me to feel relaxed after
stressful
Add an article
a stressful
show examples
time at school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that everybody would have their own different interest and passion. Some
people
Use synonyms
only feel excited when they do arduous
activities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, playing
piano
Change the article
the piano
show examples
is a pastime that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
sophisticated and difficult. In my case, it took me more than five years to conquer
this
Linking Words
field. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
Linking Words
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
it requires a lot of efforts and sometimes I feel like giving up, but now I enjoy it much more than I did when I started. I believe that many leisure
activities
Use synonyms
would more enjoyable when we reach a higher level of knowledge
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the feeling of achievement is great. In conclusion, while some
people
Use synonyms
are gravitate
Change the verb form
are gravitating
show examples
towards to do difficult
activities
Use synonyms
, I would argue that simple hobbies
also
Linking Words
be fun and relaxed.
Submitted by minanguyen1211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: