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Band 4.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#growth #shops #towns #cities
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
 decade has seen
boom
Add an article
a boom
show examples
 in online shopping thanks to
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 revolution and
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of
E-commerce
Add an article
the E-commerce
show examples
 sector which not only delivered goods at the doorsteps but
also
 provided
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
options
 to select from.
This
 has led to
big
Add a hyphen
big-time
show examples
time
 shift in the way people
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 shop and as per the trends published by Times Lifestyle publications physical
foot falls
Correct your spelling
footfalls
show examples
 in
stores
 have reduced by 50% in cities and 35% in towns; which will eventually
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
closure
Add an article
the closure
show examples
 of shops in
next
 2-3 decades as per the article and in my opinion I agree with the
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 of closure of
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
show examples
 store in coming future. I would like to highlight the reasons for my views and
convienence
Correct your spelling
convenience
 is the most important factor here, as online shopping has enabled consumers to shop for anything and everything across the world just through their mobile phones or laptops with just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 clicks and get the goods delivered right in your home.
This
 has reduced physical and geographical boundaries
for example
 one can order real Belgium chocolates from Natures Basket which wouldn’t be available in local
stores
 of Mumbai. Another reason which supports the viewpoint is customers are catered to experience and choose from
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
options
 that are shown to them online compared to physical
stores
, there are numerous
options
 in term of designs, colour and size as per the requirement of shoppers. The same is supported by research
publish
Change the form of the verb
published
show examples
 in Forbes lifestyle that shopping portals like Amazon or Alibaba
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 minimum
30
Change preposition
of 30
show examples
options
 for each type of style to choose from giving more variety to shop. Digital shopping saves
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
time
 is another major reason
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shifted to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 way of buying goods as they get to save on an average of 2 to 3 hours of travel and payment
time
 at physical
stores
 as per
study
Add an article
a study
the study
show examples
 conducted
New
Change preposition
by New
show examples
 York Times and they could now do other extra activities in the
time
 saved.
Lastly
Add a comma
,Lastly
show examples
 the spurt in digital shopping is because of attractive discounts and
cashbacks
Correct your spelling
cashback
 by the companies especially during festivals
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 Amazon had 10 billion dollar sales during Diwali in India due to its attractive discounts.
Hence
 because of
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 key
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
 I agree with the thought that shops in towns and cities will lead to closure due to
increase
Add an article
the increase
an increase
show examples
 in online shopping.
Submitted by hdfctesting20 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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