Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

#people #jobs

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern time , everybody wants a luxury lifestyle and eager for earning more and more.

Therefore

, some elder

people

looking for

jobs

which are related to technology and they have to compete with youngsters because adults are more aware

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

to use technology and they have more opportunities for

jobs

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

field

Firstly

, the biggest problem due to

this

methodology is

Change the article

apply

show examples

difficult to get a

job

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young age

people

and reducing

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

chances for new

people

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

market.

secondly

this

type of mentality helps to grow unemployment percentage because some

people

do not get

job

Add an article

a job

show examples

in their

field

and they

also

do not want to

Change the verb

show examples

doing

Change the verb form

show examples

job

Add an article

the job

a job

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

field

lower level

Add a hyphen

lower-level

show examples

field

Finally

, In some counties,

this

concept

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

a budget issue for governments.

For example

in India, an old age group

people

got

Remove the article

apply

show examples

retirement from

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

job

and they

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

a pension for

Add an article

a life

show examples

life time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

and after they starting a

job

in another

field

. Due to

this

plan ,

Indian

Correct article usage

the Indian

show examples

government faces a financial issue and unemployment. On the other side, every problem comes with some solution ,so we have some ideas to overcome

this

problem.

Firstly

Change the article

the

show examples

job

market

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to make some rules for

new comers

Correct your spelling

newcomers

show examples

and for elder

people

so they do not interfere with each other in

Change the article

the

show examples

job

market.

A companies

Correct the article-noun agreement

Companies

show examples

have to decide

Change the article

show examples

age group for

particular

Add an article

a particular

show examples

job

so senior

people

can not

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

jobs

Secondly

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

organizations have to decide how they can promote their employees so senior

people

will not think about

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

quitting a

job

and they will not compete with

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation for new

jobs

. In a conclusion, it is

nessessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

for everybody for getting

Change the article

show examples

update and upgrade themselves but

job

organizations have to take a decision for saving a young generation

jobs

to reduce

Remove the article

apply

show examples

unemployment.

Submitted by hardeeppandher6 on Sat Feb 20 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Personal fulfillment
Unfulfilling job
Mental health
Physical health
Financial stability
Job security
Societal norms
Career choices
Pursuing passion
Practicality
Personal growth
Skill development
Self-esteem
Social status
Work-life balance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Details of politicians private lives should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There have been a debate whether offstage information of politicians should be kept away from the media. In my opinion, I strongly advocate that argument as I believe everyone should have the right to keep their personal lives private.
6.5
band
As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The expenditure on the road system has become one of the hotly debated topics that divided opinions, due to the increase of the quantity of cars recently. Many people think this is the accountability of the government, while others consider that it is an individual role to pay for it. From my perspective, the government bears responsibility for improving road traffic.
<4
band
4.What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?
Another key criterion that the company look for is analytical skills, which is very important for people working in investment banking. People regularly engage in analyzing debt and equity structures, financial transactions and other crucial elements that play an important role in making critical decisions in the moment of recommending financial strategies to consumers. Additionally, people need to be strategic and logical thinkers who can analyse data and different situations in the financial market.
6.5
band
Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?
It is thought by some people that people can be encouraged to remain healthy by building more gyms around their residential areas. In this essay, the effects and solutions of this matter will be outlined before reaching my conclusion.
7.5
band
It is believed that citizens should pay tax to show their social responsibility. Others believe citizens should take other responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the current world, some people believe that society should take social action through tax payments, while others think otherwise. From my perspective, there are some truths for both views. The following paragraphs will clarify my stance.

Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Details of politicians private lives should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

4.What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?

Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?

It is believed that citizens should pay tax to show their social responsibility. Others believe citizens should take other responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.