IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
In recent years, online shopping has gained popularity. While some people believe that shopping through the web has no chance to compete with traditional retail
shops
, I argue that the online market will one day replace conventional
shops
.
This
 essay will illustrate the merit of online shopping and how it is more convenient.
To begin
 with, the internet market is time effective for costumers.
This
 is because buyers have no need to commute long routes to downtowns or malls in order to purchase different goods and clothes.
In addition
, customers can do the buying just by scrolling through browsers
instead
 of travelling from one place to another.
Moreover
, online retails are open all days of the week with no closure time which renders instantaneous buying even in the middle of the night possible when a physical shop is not available.
Furthermore
, Online
shops
 are cost-effective for both customers and retailers. As
shops
 owners have to spend a tremendous amount of money
such
 as the rent of the shopping place and different types of bills.
In contrast
, the internet market offers a platform where sellers can advertise their products with a little rental fee for the website. Another merit is that Malls and hypermarkets have a negative impact on the environment. The reason for
this
 is that
such
 blocks not only are they consuming a large amount of energy from electricity and water supply but
also
 they produce a huge amount of emissions and greenhouse gases.
For example
, in 2019 an article by the Egyptian Commercial Ministry stated that the profit of online shopping
website
Change the noun form
websites
show examples
 like Souq and Jumia has exceeded well-known reputable retailers. In conclusion, I think that the advantage of time-saving and the more economical of online shopping outweigh the traditional
shops
. For these reasons, I believe that
shops
 in towns and cities are ceased to exist.
Submitted by shorouk.s.abdelaziz on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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