IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Advertising discourages us from being different individuals by making us all want to be and look the same as each other. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #want
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It has been noted that advertisement demotivates
people
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 from being unique individuals by forcing
entire
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the entire
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society
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 to implement the same and have equal
appeareance
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appearance
 in the community. I strongly agree that advertising companies are discouraging
people
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 to look different rather than they want
people
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 to look and perform
same
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the same
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 actions in
the
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apply
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society
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. Though
people
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 live in a democratic country, consistent advertisements force them to choose what is being shown and they tend
Change preposition
to loose
show examples
Replace the word
lose
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loose
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lose
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 their freedom. To cite an example, In India, during Diwali, many electronic companies advertise
products
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 goods through various mediums, many families
purchase
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it
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them
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, without knowing the right details of the product. It
also
Linking Words
 influences
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children's
children
childrens
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children
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 specifically, they pester their parents to
purchase
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 the same kind of clothes
what
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that
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 is being shown.
Furhermore
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Furthermore
,
continous
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continuous
 advertisements on
alchol
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alcohol
,
smooking
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smoking
products
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 leads to health issues, as more and more
people
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tends
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tend
show examples
 to
purchase
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 and it will
ave
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have
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 adverse effects on individuals in their later stage of life.
Likewise
Linking Words
, if any company promotes fast food,
people
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 often consume it, knowing that it is affordable but they
wont
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won't
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 know that it leads to obesity.
Additionaly
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Additionally
Additional
,
same
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the same
show examples
 kind of advertisements might
also
Linking Words
 have an impact on organization sales, as
people
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 have different tastes and opinion. Consistent advertisement of similar
products
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 is kind of hypnotizing peoples mind, where they to
purchase
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 at the end by hook or by crook.
For instance
Linking Words
, youth in
United
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the United
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 States of America often
purchase
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 clothes even if it is against
the
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apply
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society
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. In Conclusion, companies should advertise those
products
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 which have
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positive
postive
Correct article usage
a postive
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 impact on
society
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 and have various options for individuals to choose
.
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from.
show examples
Submitted by ifteqar.ahmed01 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogenize
  • consumer preferences
  • fashion trends
  • lifestyle choices
  • individual uniqueness
  • persuasive techniques
  • celebrity endorsements
  • ideals
  • emulate
  • personal identity
  • diversity
  • social media
  • curated images
  • standardized
  • societal values
  • niche marketing
  • counter-culture movements
  • indie brands
  • mainstream
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