IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree

#prison #countries #crime #people #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Imprisonment has been seen as the most viable solution to solve the problem of
crime
Use synonyms
 in many countries. Some individuals think that alternative solutions
such
Linking Words
 as giving a qualified
education
Use synonyms
 can be more beneficial. In my opinion,
education
Use synonyms
 is the key to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 in every part of the world. The aim of
this
Linking Words
 essay is to agree with the suggestion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
education
Use synonyms
 has the potential to change everything about human awareness. It is important to bear in mind that when people are educated, their sensitivity to society is increasing. Many youngsters gain the ability of empathy at school.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can be respectful
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 others' rights and opinions with the strong power of
education
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can be seen clearly that juvenile delinquency has been risen up in
uneducated
Correct article usage
an uneducated
show examples
 society. Because of
this
Linking Words
 reason, school and
education
Use synonyms
 are the paramount chance in order to reduce
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate. Children should be encouraged to follow
conformity
Correct article usage
the conformity
show examples
 of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 by learning the social memes. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they might stay away from the negative behaviour which can be dangerous to someone who is living as a part of society.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is a broad consensus amongst experts that the main reasons behind the higher
crime
Use synonyms
 ratio are poverty and
shortage
Correct article usage
the shortage
show examples
 of fundamental human rights.
With
Change preposition
By
show examples
 giving qualified
education
Use synonyms
 to the public, they are able to have a job in their future.
For example
Linking Words
, Norway has a population
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is of literal and high educated quality and as a consequence of it, the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate has stayed restricted in the country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, countries can increase their prosperity by teaching their citizens and the prosperity will eliminate the reason behind crimes in the long run.
Consequently
Linking Words
, equal fundamental rights, which is the key to solving the
crime
Use synonyms
 problem, can be supplied to everyone with
comprehensive
Add an article
a comprehensive
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 prison has been viewed as the easiest solution in order to decrease the number of crimes amongst countries, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 an abundance of viable alternative solutions to solve problems permanently
such
Linking Words
 as giving well-rounded
education
Use synonyms
 for every individual in the country.
Submitted by serhat.kayaa3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
What to do next:
Look at other essays: