Advertising discourages us from being different individuals by making us all want to be and look the same as each other. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It has been noted that advertisement demotivates people from being unique
individuals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by forcing the entire society to implement the same and have
equal
Add an article
an equal

The noun phrase equal appearance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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appearance in the community. I strongly agree that advertising companies are discouraging
individuals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to look different rather than they want them to look and perform the same actions in society. Though many
resides
Change the verb form
reside

The singular verb resides does not appear to agree with the plural subject many. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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in a democratic country, consistent advertisements force them to choose what is being shown and they
tend
Add the particle
totend

It appears that the verb lose should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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lose their freedom. To cite an example, In India, during Diwali, many electronic companies advertise merchandise through various mediums, many families purchase them, without knowing the right details of the product. It
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

influences children specifically, they pester their parents to purchase the same kind of clothes
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

being shown.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, continuous advertisements on alcohol, smoking brands leads to health issues, as more and more people
tends
Change the verb form
tend

The verb tends does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to acquire it and it will have adverse effects on
individuals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their later stage of life.
Likewise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if any company promotes fast food,
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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often
consume
Change the verb form
consumes

The plural verb consume does not appear to agree with the singular subject public. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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it, knowing that it is affordable but they won't know that it leads to obesity.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional

The word Additionaly is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, the same kind of advertisements might
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have an impact on organization sales, as
person
Add an article
a person
the person

The noun phrase person seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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have different tastes and opinion. Consistent advertisement of similar goods is kind of hypnotizing peoples mind,
where
Replace the word
were

It appears that where is not correct in this context. Consider changing it.

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they keen to buy at the end by hook or by crook.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, youth in the United States of America often purchase clothes even if it is against the community. In Conclusion, companies should advertise those brands which have a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive

The word postive is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

impact on
nation
Add an article
the nation

The noun phrase nation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and have various options for
individuals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to choose from.
Submitted by ifteqar.ahmed01 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogenize
  • consumer preferences
  • fashion trends
  • lifestyle choices
  • individual uniqueness
  • persuasive techniques
  • celebrity endorsements
  • ideals
  • emulate
  • personal identity
  • diversity
  • social media
  • curated images
  • standardized
  • societal values
  • niche marketing
  • counter-culture movements
  • indie brands
  • mainstream
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